Page 105 of The Kingdom of Eternal Ice
“I know she is my sister, and I love her,” he sighs. “But, she has said so many hurtful things growing up. She constantly looked down on Caelan because, for her, he wasn’t smart enough; Alana because she wasn’t feminine enough, and Nevyn because he wasn’t manly enough.” He groans in frustration. “She is so fucking judgmental.”
“It must have felt terrible to see everyone’s feelings get hurt,” I tell him. Kilah has been very nice to me, and I consider her a friend. I know she has made attempts to change and mend her relationship with her family, but Flinn’s frustration is valid too.
“You are not telling me to suck it up and get over it?”
“No,” I say quietly. “I really like Kilah a lot, but I’m not going to invalidate your feelings. You have a right to be upset and forgive on your terms, at your own pace.”
“You say Kilah is your friend,” he points out. “But, are you aware that she only befriended you because you are an elegant, mysterious princess and fit into her beauty standards?” He looks instantly guilty after he says it. “That was mean,” he sighs. “I don’t want to sabotage her friendship with you.”
“I know it,” I admit. “But, it doesn’t matter why she sought out my friendship, at first. She stuck around, she is still here and is still my friend. Although she realized I’m far from the perfect, dazzling princess she imagined. And, while Simin is more of a friend to Alana, she and Kilah get along well, too. Simin loves clothes and has a good eye for fashion. They clicked, despite the difference in their ranks.”
“That’s true,” he says. “She’s changed ever since you and Simin came along and she befriended you.”
“Deep inside, she is just insecure,” I say quietly. “She feels all of you are special, while she is bland.”
“That’s stupid.”
“It is not,” I argue. “It’s her feelings, and they are valid, too.”
Flinn stays silent for a while before he lets out a sigh. “Alright, I will not work against her when she attempts to make amends. I will not go out of my way to be mean to her, but I can’t promise I will warm up to her so soon.”
“That’s alright,” I reassure him. “No one is forced to forgive in the blink of a moment.”
Flinn smiles. “You would be a fantastic luna.”
“Pardon me?”
“I’m just saying you would be cut out for the job, to be a leader in a way.”
“But, King Gillean hasn’t decided on his successor yet. It could be any of you.”
“Hm,” Flinn hums, but doesn’t say anything else. He has a sharp mind, sharper than anyone else I’ve met. It’s different from the intelligence Shayan displays, or Endellion. Flinn has the ability to look very deep. He can be sly and cunning if necessary. I wonder what he is pondering about now.
I soon get distracted, though, realizing that we are not taking the path we originally came on. Instead, the landscape gets more vacant with each mile we ride. There are fewer and fewer houses around. The wind gets stronger too and Endellion makes sure to wrap me in some additional blankets. There is a loud sound that gets louder the closer we get. Before we get too close though, everyone halts their horses and dismounts them. Flinn and Caelan run ahead, while the guards stay back with our horses. Endellion takes my hand, tugging me along while we follow his brothers.
The wind is cold and icy, and the snow beneath our feet is hard and crunchy, frozen by the wind. “Where are we?” I laugh, despite the cold wind, feeling warm in Endellion’s presence.
“You will see soon,” he promises.
“Come faster!” Flinn yells towards us and waves.
We pick up our pace, running up to Flinn and Caelan. When we reach them, the landscape opens up to a massive snow beach, leading towards a rough and almighty ocean, spreading into the seemingly never-ending horizon.
I gasp, letting go of Endellion’s hand to step a little closer. The wind is particularly rough here, as there are no rocks or trees blocking it. I knew one border of the kingdom was crossing the ocean, but it’s just been book-knowledge for me.
“Say something,” Endellion urges softly.
I feel my eyes tear up at the beauty and the power of the rough nature. “It’s so beautiful,” I whisper.
I feel so small face to face with this majestic nature, like my existence doesn’t matter much. But, instead of feeling small and crushed like back in the desert, this time I feel relieved. My existence doesn’t matter more than anyone else’s. I can’t change fate alone, but I can with my new friends and family.
thirty-five
Attack
*ALANA*
Adragon, the little girl saw a dragon. She never told anyone because even at her young age she knew no one would believe her, like back in the days when no one believed me. I still remember how lonely I felt back then.
