Page 165 of The Kingdom of Eternal Ice
Yes, it’s time to disappear.
I leave them to hunt Elio, who keeps flying above them, while I hurry further up the mountain path, leading me directly to the center of the dragon pack, or rather their clan, as Elio told me. Unlike wolves, they don’t live in packs, but in clans. A lot of buildings are still standing, but they aren’t in good shape. Time and weather, and the lack of inhabitants have had their effects on them. It’s a sad sight, but maybe with time this place will heal, too.
Before that can happen, I will need to find the woman in white, and set her mind at peace. Elio told me that on the top of the mountain chain, right below the castle, there will be a huge glacial lake with a frozen surface. These folks here really love their lakes, but who can blame them?
It’s a wild guess, but I just know I will find her there. Water seems to call to her.
The snow swallows my footsteps, while soft snowflakes start to drop down and dance around me. It’s snowing again. Such a beautiful, peaceful view, but it’s all a farce. Nothing is peaceful here. The moment I step onto the icy surface of the lake, I can see her standing in the middle of it and just staring down at the ice.
The woman in white, Eada as she was called, isn’t evil. She did evil things, but she was manipulated, used, and locked into her grief.
She is not evil; this is the truth I need to cling to.
I know she has noticed me as she stopped moving, and in a flash, she has suddenly moved closer. Close up I notice her eyes are almost black, her face full of lines of sorrow and wrath, and her hair white like the snow.
She looks scary, but I swallow down my fear.
I can feel her presence all around me, trying to push into my mind. Her long fingers are black at their tips as she reaches them out towards me. For a split second, I’m terrified of what might happen. I’m here again… on a lake.
I almost drowned once.
She tossed me inside. She made sure the cold water would pull me down.
She showed me no mercy.
Just like that, the coldness seems to embrace me. The grief, the pain, the anger all reminding me of my reality and my shortcomings.
I’m alone here.
Without help.
Why did Endellion allow me to come here? Why didn’t he accompany me?
Isn’t that what mates do?
Did Arianrhod lie to me?
How long have I been here in these lands? Why did my most beloved brother never reach out toward me?
Why did Father not have any love for me?
Maybe it’s because I’m a bad daughter. I failed him and his expectations. I wasn’t the princess I should have been. I wasn’t the sister I should have been. Maybe this is why Kiyan never wrote to me, why he didn’t care what happened to me? I was a failure as his sister.
I feel tears burning in my eyes as desperation and guilt wash over me. Dropping down to my knees, I bury my face in my hands.
Why am I not good enough? Why does no one love me?
The icy cold seems to have gripped my heart, but just when I feel at my lowest, I feel something warm reaching out to me. It’s gentle and comforting, and full of love. Starting with my head, it spreads further and further until it fills my whole being.
I am loved. Endellion loves me. I reach out my hand to touch my mark. It feels warm beneath my fingertips.
I raise my gaze to look Eada in her pitch-black eyes before standing up. “That’s enough.” I say. “You have tortured these lands for long enough.”
fifty-two
Cailleach
*AZADEH*
