Page 57 of The Kingdom of Eternal Ice
“I’m not sad,” I say.
“You are…” He looks insecure, nervous almost. “I can see it. Is it something I did? Aza, the prophecy, it doesn’t mean anything to me if it makes you unhappy. You don’t need to do anything; we don’t expect you to. We are just happy you are here.”
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do,” I whisper.
“We will figure it out together,” he says softly, “because none of us knows. And while we research, we’ll also keep preparing for the masquerade and enjoy the ball. We will show you the country, because prophecy or not, this is your home now, and I want nothing more than for you to like it.”
“Why?” I raise my head to look at him. “Why does it matter if I like it here?”
“Because you are the light,” Endellion swallows, holding my hand even tighter. “To me, you are the light,” he adds quietly.
My heart takes a careful leap. “You might find a mate,” I say.
“I don’t need the mate bond to know what’s real and what’s not,” he says. “But what do you want, Aza?”
I look at him thoughtfully. What do I want? I don’t know what I want, because never before in my life did anyone consider my wishes.
“Think about it,” Endellion encourages me while he offers me his arm. “You have all the freedom here to do and be whatever and whoever you want. Maybe it’s about time you start to consider your own wishes and dreams, and not live for other expectations.” He pauses, wincing. “I apologize. I didn’t want to sound condescending or pushy.”
“You didn’t sound condescending,” I say while taking his arm. A smile curls my lips. “Just a bit pushy. But you are right; maybe it’s time to learn to be myself.”
I have no idea who I truly am or what I truly feel, but one thing is for sure: this is the place I belong. And I will do everything to protect it, and find my own fate here.
nineteen
Chapter 19 Kilah
*AZADEH*
Afew days have passed since we heard the prophecy, and as Aylin predicted, not many things have changed yet. We do spend more time researching, mostly Flinn and I, although it’s normally me reading and him tossing little paper balls at me. He has a cunning and witty mind but also has the attention span of a butterfly.
When I’m not researching, I’m meeting with Endellion, who makes sure to show me around as much as I want, and to answer all my questions about the kingdom. He also seems to enjoy good literature, so we often end up recommending books to each other, and then discussing what we just read.
Caelan, after hours of arguments with his brothers and after being advised by Royan and Shayan, has started to train me.
In our first session, both Flinn and Endellion were watching him with a death glare. I’m not sure how he normally trains his warriors, but there is a rumor going around that he accidentally broke a few bones here and there. He seems to be really clumsy but is very graceful when he fights. It seems he just doesn’t understand his strength sometimes.
After three days without him breaking any of my limbs, the others finally leave us alone.
The first few days, Caelan has only shown me how to keep a fighting stance, how to defend myself, and how to escape a grip or an attack.
Today, he wants to help find a suitable weapon for me; hence, we are starting with a classic sword. I attempt to wield it, carefully moving it in my hands. I try to follow Caelan’s movements, but when he mimics an attack, I stumble and drop into the snow.
“Azadeh!” he tosses his sword aside and scrambles to help me up. “Are you alright?”
“Of course, don’t worry,” I chuckle as I allow him to pull me up. “I just fell. I assume this will happen more often.”
I brush the snow off my clothes and grab my sword again. “Let’s continue.” Caelan nods, but before we can do so, his gaze shifts towards the door to the training hall. Caelan has booked it for me and him, exclusively, so that no one would interrupt us. No one dares to do that, anyway. He has that effect on people. Now, his stern face turns even more serious as he eyes the door. “Kilah?” he asks. “We are having a private training lesson.”
I turn my head and am surprised to see Kilah dressed in a sweater and a simple long black skirt. It’s an unusual attire for her, even more unusual is to see her around one of her siblings. She has avoided them ever since she clashed with Alana. I assume she is just very prideful and has difficulties approaching them or, worse, apologizing to them. “I… I am sorry. Endellion said the both of you are here.”
“And?” Caelan asks.
I turn my head to glare at him, making him swallow. “Kilah,” I try to sound as welcoming as possible, in an attempt to make up for Caelan sounding gruff and unfriendly. I’ve learned that he doesn’t know how to read moods sometimes, and how he comes off to others. Technically, Kilah, as his sister should know that, but seeing how strained her relationship to the others is, she may not be aware of it. “Were you looking for me?”
“Actually… yes,” she admits. “I… I thought maybe I could join.”
At this, Caelan almost drops his sword in surprise. “You mean training?” he asks in disbelief.
