Page 16 of The Silent Mountain
“You saw my mother,” Favian says quietly.
I nod. “She saved my life, but everyone thought I was hallucinating because of my fever. Ita always believed me. And then, when I said I wanted to become a warrior, she helped me reach my goal. My father wasn’t too excited, at first, that I was choosing this path, but she had my back all along.”
“And eventually, you developed feelings for her.”
“I fell in love,” I admit. “I’d felt it for a while but didn’t know how to act on it. Ita always believed in cherishing the mate bond, but I didn’t think that way. I wanted to have a choice, and she would have been mine.”
He nods. “I can understand that. Not everyone sees the mate bond as something magical. It does take a choice from us.”
I’m surprised he understands me. “Shortly before she died, we talked about it. She admitted to having feelings for me but not wanting to become my chosen mate. She said I am a princess, and as a princess, I can’t just take a chosen mate.”
Favian lets out a sad sigh.
“You think she was right, don’t you?”
“I don’t necessarily think that itisright. I also don’t think it would have been impossible, but certainly, you being a princess made it more complicated.”
“I know,” I admit. “I was really mad at her back then, but I understand her now. She didn’t mean to hurt me. She was just trying to be my friend and, at the same time, value me as her princess. When she died, she said that she loved me and that she would have been honored to be my chosen mate.” I smile sadly. “I think she did feel that way, but I don’t believe she would have ever agreed on becoming my mate.” I pause. “Such a mess, wasn’t it? And then she died protecting me.”
“It’s so hard,” he mutters. “To survive when someone you love dies.”
Finally, someone who understands! “I feel guilty constantly. I am messed up, aren’t I?”
“I do too. I feel guilty for having survived,” he says. “And I know Elio feels the same. There is nothing wrong with how you feel.”
“And you?” I ask quietly. “What are you battling with?”
“Aside from guilt?” he asks.
My lips tug slightly, not sure if I should smile at his words or feel saddened by them.
“It’s not just the guilt of having survived,” he says. “But also, the guilt of so many of us having died and me not being able to protect them.”
“You were a teenage boy when you were captured,” I say quietly, sad that this cruelty happened to him and that he was burdened by it the way he is. “You don’t sleep, do you?”
“I can’t,” he admits. “I try to, but every time I lie down, I am reminded of how I was forced into that never-ending, long sleep.” He pauses. “The worst part was the solitude,” he admits. “The silence and just being alone with my thoughts. Favia was there first, but she got weaker and would sleep most of the time or disappear occasionally. Her life force is bound to mine, and when I got weaker, she did too. Eventually, I was all alone. And now, when I go to sleep, I realize I don’t know what will happen to me while I am asleep. What if I'll once again be caught in a never-ending nightmare for years?”
I reach out my hand to squeeze his, not sure how to answer him. There are no words that can relieve his pain or lessen his trauma. “I will think of something,” I say. “I promise, I will think of something. Your people need you to be well-rested. I will help.”
I feel like an idiot for saying something so juvenile, but Favian doesn’t seem to mind. He just squeezes my hand in return and nods.
six
The Silent Mountain
*ALANA*
Iwatchinamusementathow Elio and Ludwig try to tend to the horses. My family, back in the werewolf kingdom, had my own two horses sent here so that I wouldn’t feel alone. I ride them regularly. One of them is a very kind mare, the other a bit of a strong-headed stallion who needs a confident rider. I’ve decided to teach them riding on my mare, Constantia, but first, I want them to get confident with each other. Constantia has a gentle nature and endless patience, fortunately, which makes this task easier for Elio and Ludwig.
I decided to start with Ludwig, mainly because he is a warrior and has a good posture already, and he also has control over his body. Elio, meanwhile, can learn from watching him first, before it’s his turn.
“I never thought riding would be that exhausting,” Ludwig pants while he tries to put into practice everything I’ve told him.
“What did you think?” I chuckle.
“I don’t know, I thought I would sit on it and…”
“And the horse would do all the work?” I ask.
