Page 109 of My Broken Mate
“Goddess, Joel,” I sigh. “You really like pushing my buttons.”
“Normally, I would say yes and then hope you would fuck me,” he says. “But right now, man, you just sound miserable. Tell me. It’s just me.”
“I am feeling guilty for lashing out at them and for not being able to protect them all those years,” I hear myself say. “And I feel disappointed because no matter how hard I try, it’s not enough.”
“That’s all very valid. Why don’t you tell them?” he asks.
“You don’t understand,” I say.
“What do I not understand?” he asks, sounding soft, almost gentle, all of a sudden. “Sean, what am I not understanding?”
That they see our father in me, and it shows in the way Gabriel retaliates when I even sound a little bit angry, by how Remy hides when he thinks I am mad. I have his face, I can’t help it, I will always look like him.
A loud crash, accompanied by glass breaking, pulls me out of the talk with Joel. “Joel, something happened! I will get back to you later.” I hang up on him, not waiting for his answer, before dashing out of the room, my heart hammering so fast againstmy chest it makes my ears drum and my head dizzy. Fuck, what happened now?
*GABRIEL*
I keep standing in the corridor, rooted to my place for a couple of more minutes. Sean disappeared into his office, and Remy into his room, leaving me here. The silence is deafening. It’s the first time I notice how truly painful it is, and I have no idea how to break through it. Should I knock at Sean’s door and see if I can talk things out with him? But he seemed angry, and I know he likes to calm down first before seeing anyone. As for Remy, it’s even worse. I wouldn’t even know how to start a conversation with him.
Three self-help books about communication and plenty of meetings with Ayden later, and I still mess up when it’s necessary that I deliver.
With my thoughts running amok, I just stand there, staring at all those closed doors, before finally making myself move. I don’t have it in me to retreat into my own office or room, so instead I walk further upstairs to the attic.
I am not even sure what to look for there. It’s just crammed with boxes, most of them filled with seasonal decorations, old clothes and some sets of plates and cutlery. Stored in the furthest corner are more painful memories, mainly from Mom. Sean’s and my mom, at least. There is barely anything left from Remy’s. Sean and I looked everywhere after Dad died, but we weren’t able to find anything.
It has to be somewhere, but we don’t know where. Right after she died, a fire broke out and swallowed most of her possessions, but still, there has to be something.
Making my way past most of the stuff, I settle down at the windowsill right above Remy’s room while rummaging through the boxes. There are lots of things from our childhood like plush animals and sand toys, some pictures and…
I grin when I pull out an old rope ladder. Sean and I used this all the time to climb out of our windows just so we wouldn’t meet Dad. Sean even used it to swing to my room. He had always been athletic like that. Wondering if the old thing still works, I tie it to the windowsill and let it fall down the wall. Fortunately, we are at the back of the packhouse right now, or my fellow pack members would have just been completely weirded out.
The rope ladder is dusty but still seems to be fine. I strengthen the ties before shrugging off my coat and climbing out of the window. I blame it on my walk down memory lane that I am doing this without even having a plan for what I want to do. It doesn’t reach to the ground fully, but I could jump the last part. The cold air outside and physical activity actually calm my nerves a bit, and I find myself taking the first steps down when I hear a crack.
That’s not good.
Another crack and then a snapping sound.
Oh, fuck! My survival instincts kick in immediately, making me hurry back up when another loud crack echoes through the silence, the steps of the ladder splintering before breaking completely. Clinging to the edge of the ladder, I glance upwards—so fucking close to the window—when something snaps.
“Damn it!” I yell, leaping to the other side of the ladder and clinging to the rope while the second one rips more and more.
This finally alerts my wolf enough to snarl at me.Down!He growls.Try to slip down!
He is right, it will hurt like crazy and rip the skin of my hands open, but it’s better than crashing down onto the ground. I loosen my grip, slipping downwards, when another snap can be heard.
Just my luck…
The grip I have on the rope loosens, and I can feel something falling downwards. With a last attempt to save my ass, I swing towards the next best window I spot, hoping I can land on the windowsill.
Chapter thirty-three
The Tornado Of Destruction
*GABRIEL*
My ears ring, a dull pain in the back of my head alerting me that I landed somewhere. But fuck, my bones hurt, and… why am I lying on shards of glass?
“Gabriel!” Remy yells, jumping up from his bed and hurrying towards me.
