“Who? Katalina?”
“No,” he says. “My mate.”
My heart instantly sinks at his words. A mate is every werewolf’s dream. I know it’s Lyle and Kiki’s. They have been waiting to meet theirs since they turned eighteen. Both of themfrequent as many college parties and pack parties as possible to mingle with other students and wolves from other packs.
I dreamed of it, too. Then I woke up on my 18th birthday and never met my wolf.
“I wonder what she will be like,” he muses. “Maybe she will be from our pack, but isn’t eighteen yet. Or she is someone from a pack far away, and I need to wait for the goddess to send her along my path.” He sits up a bit. “There is just this longing inside me… and it’s getting stronger. Maybe it means I will meet her soon.” He turns to look at me, turning serious instantly. “Fuck, Remy, I’m so sorry, I—”
“Don’t be,” I stop him before he can further apologize. “Of course you dream of your mate. Just because I will never have one, doesn’t mean you and Kiki shouldn’t look forward to meeting yours.”
“You don’t know that,” he says. “That you don’t have a mate.”
“I don’t know of any werewolf that was mated to a human,” I say.
“Remy, you aren’t human!” he says with emphasis. “They tested you on genetic illnesses. They had to compare your DNA to your parents’, and you are their son. It means you are a werewolf. I don’t know why your wolf isn’t here, but I know for a fact that you are not human. There is someone out there for you.”
“I don’t know, Lyle.”
“But I do,” he says determinedly.
I want to believe his words, I really do, but I doubt there is much waiting for me. Sometimes I feel this void in me, trying to suck me in, and it takes all my strength to battle it and not succumb to the darkness. At these times, I just wish I could close my eyes and never open them again.
Life’s full of pain and sorrow.
I sometimes wonder if it’s worth it.
Chapter five
Friends
*REMY*
We have no classes the next day, so Lyle, Kiki and I decide to accept Gabriel’s offer and go shopping. I called in advance to a store I knew would have the items we were looking for, suitable for the atrocious gala event.
As predicted, Kiki is excited to join. She is a peculiar and beautiful young woman. She is tall and a bit on the skinny side, which has given her the opportunity to model a bit. Her features are a bit sharper and edgier in comparison to other women, but she has so much charisma and great style. Even Gabriel likes her. I think deep down, both he and Sean hope I might take her as my chosen mate.
But while I love her as a friend, I don’t see her that way. I’m not doing friends in general. Kiki sees it the same. It’s the one firm boundary all three of us set.
“I will absolutely be your date,” she exclaims, linking our arms. “I can be yours, too, Lyle.”
“Goddess, no,” he groans. “The last thing I want is all those snobs talking about us having a poly relationship. And just imagine if I meet my mate.”
“Right, I forgot,” I nudge Kiki. “If you meet your mate, playing my date might sabotage you.”
“Nah,” she makes a dismissive gesture with her hand. “If my mate has issues with me accompanying my two best friends to an event, then I really don’t want to be his. I don’t do controlling men.”
“But it might still cause a misunderstanding,” I say. “Even if your mate is a nice guy.”
“Remy,” she sighs. “It’s not like I’m going to dry hump you at the event or push my tongue down your throat. Now that’s when I’d have an issue if I met my mate. But if I go with you to this event, and my mate still goes crazy despite me explaining everything, then that’s on him.”
I wish I could have her view on life sometimes. Kiki sees everything so clearly in front of her. She has no issues standing up for herself and being who she is. “I hope you and Lyle will get the best mates ever.”
“You will, too,” she argues.
“We had that talk yesterday,” Lyle tells her.
“You really believe you won’t have a mate?” Kiki asks, elbowing me when I nod. “Bullshit! I’m sure there is someone out there for you. Anything else wouldn’t make sense.” She pauses. “Now let’s head inside.”