Page 46 of My Broken Mate
“Remy really needs a friend like your sister,” I point out. “He only hangs out with his childhood friends and barely meets anyone.”
“Like I said: Give it time. Kata befriends everyone. Meanwhile, they are working on her marks, which is what I hired Remy for anyway.”
“Still, if I can do anything—”
“Goddess, sometimes you are so stubborn,” Eve says. “Just give it a rest and let your brother be. Meddling in his personal affairs will only lead you to getting estranged more. Eat some more meat instead, or have a drink, or both.”
Sleep doesn’t come to me tonight. My talk with Eve keeps swirling in my mind. It’s not just the creepy pictures and my worry for my younger brother that keep me awake, but also what he said about love. Now that I think about it, I have never really been in love either. I think I had a crush in high school once, but I was so preoccupied with not alerting my father about what I was doing that I never pursued the girl.
And when he died, I only had some loose affairs, mostly with women who were traveling. I was their holiday flirt, and that’s exactly how I preferred it. I just wonder why I can’tfeel.I don’t feel much at all, unless it’s for my two brothers or for Eve. They’re the only three people I’d say I love, and I care for Beta Levi, but most people I prefer not to engage with on a personal level.
It’s like I am stunted.
Something is off. Shouldn’t I long for a loving mate?
Somehow, the thought of having someone close to me all the time terrifies me.
Eve doesn’t seem to be too bothered by it, but that’s just the person he is. He is always in his own zone. Things that lie on other people’s minds, things that bother them, mundane things, don’t faze him. He seems to be so content with who he is and how he lives. How did he achieve that? I should probably ask him about it.
I sigh, switching off the small light at my desk and getting up. When I am like this, there is no chance of getting anything done. I am usually very good at blocking out all my surroundings, even my mind, and just focusing on work. It’s what I love doing the most, but in rare moments like this, it’s useless. I will just make mistakes. And mistakes will either cost me time or money.
Trying to be as silent as possible, I make my way out of the office and towards the bathroom. It’s 2 a.m. and both Sean and Remy have retired to bed already, so I don’t want to wake them. Sean is used to staying up late, but he is also very diligent with a healthy schedule, claiming he can’t lead his pack properly if he is constantly sleep-deprived. Remy also needs his sleep, to help his mind and body rest and find his connection to his wolf spirit. I hate that I can’t find out what’s wrong with him. All my brain’s power and IQ, and Sean’s many connections, don’t seem to be able to find help for our brother. I hate it. It seems we can helpeveryone around us, but the one person most important to us. I know it’s eating at Sean, too.
My ears catch some noise in the distance. It’s very low, but my wolf alerts me instantly. It seems like someone is in the kitchen. I swiftly make my way there to see if there is a problem or if someone needs help. To my surprise, I stumble into Remy there. “Remy?” I whisper, startling him.
He turns around, looking at me through shocked eyes, and with a hint of guilt and fear in them. Why does he look at me that way? I thought Sean and I had trust issues, but by the goddess, he is even worse.
“I was hungry,” he says after a while.
“Well, that’s fine,” I try to reassure him. “Your body is still growing.” Maybe that’s a good sign? If he is hungry, then maybe his wolf is getting stronger, too. Remy, unfortunately, isn’t a big eater anyway.
Silence lingers around us, and I watch Remy hesitantly grab a piece of bread and put butter on it. “Is that all you eat?” I ask, just out of curiosity. If he wants something else, I could maybe contact one of the guards to bring us something from the kitchen in the packhouse.
Remy seems to shrink back for a moment, then the poker face is in place again, and he nods. “Just wanted a bite of something. Breakfast is in a couple of hours anyway.” His poker face might even be better than Sean’s. Both are good at having a blank expression without showing what they truly think, but while Sean is just stoic, he shows more emotions. Remy, meanwhile, seems to hide behind a mask.
“How is your hand?” I ask. “Is it better?”
Remy has it still wrapped and raises it slightly to show me. “It’s a lot better, just keeping it wrapped to be safe.”
Again, silence engulfs us. It’s so uncomfortable, I have to fight the urge to squirm. Why is it so awkward? This is my littlebrother. It should be easy to hold a normal conversation with him!
“How are your tutoring sessions with Katalina going?” I ask him, shifting the topic.
It doesn’t seem to have been the right choice, though, because Remy furrows his brows slightly and overall looks like he just wants to leave the conversation. “Good,” he says.
“Just good?” I ask.
“I have only met her two times,” he says, a tad annoyed. “I don’t have much to say yet.”
“I am just asking,” I explain. “You are nice to her, aren’t you?”
I can almost see the blinds being pulled down again, and any emotion is gone from Remy’s face. He wears that blank expression that terrifies me sometimes because it’s so similar to how his mom looked before she passed. “Why do you think I am not polite to her?” he asks.
“Why do you always suspect the worst of me?” I ask.
“Mesuspecting the worst ofyou?” Remy asks in return. “You were the one implying I am not polite to her.”
“I was just asking.”
