Page 127 of My Broken Mate
I have had dates before, and had sex before, but nothing ever felt as intimate as this. Remus’ gaze follows me while I undress. I would blush furiously if there wasn’t something heated and hungry in his eyes, burning all my embarrassment away. Once I settle in the tub, he follows my lead, one piece of clothing after another falling until he is completely naked.
My breath gets stuck in my throat when I see him. He is so incredibly handsome, I feel like an ugly duckling next to him. Although he doesn’t make me feel like one, he makes me feel likethe sun is shining out of me. Remus settles behind me in the tub and pulls me into his arms.
“Before we do anything,” he says. “I want you to know more about me. You shared so much with me, and I feel it’s only fair if I do the same.”
I let my fingers wander over his arm. “I haven't shared everything yet.”
“I shared nothing,” he says. “I want you to know the truth.” He pauses. “What do you know about my father? I mean, aside from him being a brutal leader.”
“He was abusive,” I say. “I heard he was really cruel to Sean, and particularly to Gabriel. His first mate, Sean’s and Gabriel’s mother, died from an illness. Then he met your mother, and it’s said he was obsessed with her. I don’t know how exactly she died, only that she committed suicide. There are so many rumors.”
Remus’s hand brushes over my shoulder. “Sean’s and Gabriel’s mom did die from an illness, but only because he weakened her so much. I don’t know the details. I wasn’t around yet. But she basically gave up and couldn’t continue anymore, so her body gave in. That’s how awful he was.” He pauses, his hand stiffening before he continues to touch my arm. “It’s true that he was obsessed with my mother. Obsessed. Crazy. He owned her. He took everything from her whenever he wanted, however he wanted it. One of my earliest memories is of her pushing me behind her, because he threatened to kill me when she wouldn’t sleep with him. Over time, his threats changed, got creepier.”
I need a while for his words to sink in. “By the goddess,” I whisper.
“One day, Mom had enough. I think she just couldn’t do it anymore. She took me and ran, but where to? She had nowhere to run. She took me to a place she thought would be safe, but it was only safe for a few days. There was no place where shecould have hidden away from a man as powerful as he was. She knew he was coming, so she killed herself before he could find her.” He wraps his arms around me as if he is holding onto me. “I think part of her wanted to kill me, too, to save me from him, but I guess she couldn’t do it. My memories of these days are very vague.” He pauses. “But I do remember having her hands around my throat at one point.”
My mind has gone completely numb at his words, and slowly, the puzzle pieces are fitting together. I remember how closed off he was when we met, how repulsed he was when someone got too close to him. “His threats…” I mutter, not able to continue.
“I look a lot like my mother,” he says. “He… he was insane. When she died, he completely lost it. It’s true that he beat Sean and Gabriel, and it’s also true that I was hisfavoritein some way. He didn’t hit me as much as he hit my brothers. However,… sometimes he would forget that my mom had died. In times like those, it felt like he was in a complete psychosis.”
“No way,” I whisper.
“He would mistake her for me, then.” Another pause. “Sean and Gabriel don’t know,” he finally adds. “I never told them what he did to her, and to me.”
My mouth drops open when I finally understand what he is telling me. My stomach revolts as the severity of his confession comes crashing down. That’s why he never talked about his past to anyone, and why not even his brothers know what happened.
What a monster!
His father was a true monster from the depths of hell!
“Goddess, Remus, I… fuck… I don’t know what to say. This is… I am so sorry! I have no words.” I feel tears burning in my eyes, but I don’t want to break down now and make this about me. I want to be the one to comfort him instead. “Is it okay if I hug you?”
“Yes, of course. I don’t feel repulsed when it’s you,” he assures me.
I turn around in his arms and cling to his chest, wrapping my arms around him. I just want him to feel safe, to know that I will never allow anything to happen to him. I want him to know that I won’t allow any monsters to get close to him again.
“You saved me,” he says into the silence. A shiver goes through his body. “You truly saved my life. I don’t think I would have been able to continue for much longer in the state I was in. I was close to ending it. But then you came and saved me. I will be eternally grateful to the goddess for sending you my way.”
*SEAN*
Remy’s room is tidy, a stark contrast to the organized chaos—as Gabe himself calls it—in Gabriel’s room, or the many dusty books in mine. We have repaired his window, and he moved back into it. There are more sprinkles of personality ever since he met Katalina. I even spy a yellow figurine on the windowsill. She must have gifted it to him. Obviously, she’s brought light and color to his life.
Without the sprinkles of colors from Katalina, his room is almost clinically neat. Something about this makes my chest hurt. Why did I never notice before?
Going through the drawers of his desk makes me feel uncomfortable once more. Most of it holds stationery and books, but in the last drawer, I find a shard, splashes of blood still on it.My wolf stirs, verifying to me what I already know. It’s Remy’s blood!
We’ll have to talk about that, eventually. But right now, it’s not the priority. I close the drawer again, moving to the other side. I am still in the middle of going through Remy’s stuff when Evander calls, telling me that Sky traced both Katalina and Remy’s steps. Sky claims it’s unlikely they were abducted or even chased. He is still trying to track them, but wanted to update us immediately.
At least one thing less to worry about, but now another realization settles in. If they weren’t kidnapped or threatened, did they just run away? Elope? And if they did, why? They are both adults. Neither Joel nor I ever commanded them to do or not to do anything. We aren’t that type of alpha, and not that type of brother.
Promise me you won’t do anything stupid.
He hesitated. When I asked him not to do something stupid, Remy answered evasively, only promising me he wouldn’t endanger his life. Did he know at that point already?
No way. He couldn’t have had a plan that early. He just received the envelope.
Closing my eyes, I try to think of how he’s acted during the last couple of days. He had a panic attack when he received his mother’s belongings, and both Gabriel and I were terrified he would spiral again. It’s only recently that the haunted look has left his eyes, and he doesn’t look like he wants to vanish anymore. Even after he found out that Dad had hidden this major part of his mom from him, he was sad, angry, and devastated, but he didn’t look completely lost.
