Hi, babe, are you okay?
Attached to it, there is a cute little GIF of a rabbit.
Babe. I chuckle. I wonder what kind of face she made when she typed it. I bet it’s something between embarrassed and happy. Did she overthink it and wonder if it was okay to give me a pet name? I bet she made the cutest face ever when finally typing it.
Instead of replying with a message, I give her a call. I don’t know what has gotten into me to do that. I never call anyone unless I really have to. But it seems like my body is on autopilot, just acting on instinct. And my instinct is to hear her voice before I do something stupid.
“Remy!”
“Are you surprised,” I pause, “Babe?”
She makes the cutest sound ever. Something between annoyed, embarrassed and amused. “I thought I could try. Unless you don’t like it…”
“No, feel free to call me whatever you want,” I reassure her.
“I thought you wouldn’t like a pet name, but then I had to try and see for myself,” she explains. “And Remy is hard to shorten.”
“That’s because it’s already short form,” I tell her.
There is a pause. “WHAT?” she exclaims. “Wait… what?”
“Right, I never told you.” I settle down on my desk chair, the shadows around me slowly retreating, together with the dull approaching headache. “I am so used to being called Remy my whole life that I basically never tell anyone my real name. I sometimes think everyone has forgotten about it.”
“Wow,” Kata breathes out. “I had no idea! What is your real name?”
“Remus,” I say, the name foreign to my own ears. I have been Remy as long as I can remember. No one ever called me anything else, not even my brothers.
I have always been Remy. More quiet, more distanced, more broken than the other kids around me.
“Remus,” Kata repeats my name, and coming from her, it sends butterflies through my stomach. I thought it would sound silly to be called that way, but it doesn’t when she says it. “I like that name a lot,” she exclaims. “I like Remy, too. Both suit you.”
“You think Remus suits me?” I ask.
“Absolutely. It’s serious and hot.”
“I am hot?” I ask, intrigued.
I can almost see her blush, but she wouldn’t be Kata if she didn’t recover fast. “Of course you are. Don’t pretend like you aren’t.”
No one has ever called me hot. Handsome, maybe, pretty even, but not hot. I never thought I would give off that vibe to anyone. Somehow, hearing it from her makes me happy. “I think Katalina is a hot name, too, and the person carrying it obviously is equally as hot.”
“Goddess,” Kata giggles. “I didn’t know you could be such a flirt.”
“I am not sure I am,” I admit, “but with the right person…”
“Yes,” she says. She understood exactly what I said. “Same for me.” A pause. “So, how do you want me to call you? Should I stick with Remy or change to Remus?”
Again, hearing the name off her tongue sends tingles down my spine. I am not sure I am fully there yet to embrace it. “I don’t know,” I answer honestly.
“We can always return to that decision,” Kata promises. “I can stick with Remy for now, until you are ready to be Remus. And if that’s never, it’s fine, too.”
She truly always finds the right words to say. “Kata, is there a reason you wrote to me? You asked me if I was okay.”
“It was just a feeling,” she pauses. “I am not sure how to explain it. But I felt the urge to call you, like, something was off.”
I have no idea how to answer her concern, mainly because she was right. It must have been the bond, instinctively reaching out to her right when I was about to do something stupid.
“Is everything alright?” she asks me. “It isn’t, is it?”