Page 65 of A Chance at Redemption for the Alpha
Benjamin lets my words sink in before he nods. “You are right. I should improve myself and become someone the pack relies on.”
“I like your resolve,” I say. “So, to underline it, do you want to learn a few tricks?”
“What kind of tricks?”
“Tracking,” I say. “And learn how to move and hide in a forest, using your surroundings to your advantage.”
“You know how to do that?”
“Yes.”
Benjamin nods, and after we both finish our breakfast, I make sure to show him how to track certain animals, but also humans or wolves who passed by. I furthermore show him some tricks about how to survive outdoors for a while, how to make fire, how to hunt and how to hide his scent in case he is followed.
“This is so cool,” Benjamin says after a couple of hours. “How do you know all this?”
“My brother and I had a bit of a ‘golden child’ scapegoat dynamic. He was the golden boy, in case that wasn’t obvious,” I explain. “Which means I always had a complicated relationship with my father. He preferred my brother over me. Eugene was always very well spoken, could socialize well, had fantastic grades and was able to fight well. Some people just are the whole package, and I am not.”
“I think you are the whole package,” Benjamin says to my surprise. “I wish I were more like you.”
“Do you want to hear the whole story?” I ask.
Benjamin looks surprised. “Only if you feel comfortable to tell me.”
I don’t hide my past. I was just trying to wait for him to open up to me before I shared it with him. I tell him about Eugene,about Olive, and about the whole mess with her being mated to me, which eventually led to our downfall and me leaving the pack.
“Goddess,” Benjamin sounds shocked. “That is so cruel! I don’t know what to say… How are you still so kind and optimistic? Didn’t you hate your fate?”
“I did, at first. But I think Eugene and I would be terrible co-leaders. You know, there is a twin pair, not too different from my brother and me. They are going to inherit their pack and rule together, and their bond is so tight they can’t physically fight each other. Eugene and I were never like that. I love my brother, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t think we understood each other on that level. He never had my back in front of our father, and I bent over backward too much to accommodate him and to make sure he never knew how hurt I truly was.” I conclude, “my fate is here with Sunset Hills and its pack members, and with Silas, my second chance mate.”
“Have you ever reached out to someone from your former pack?” Benjamin asks quietly.
“No,” I admit. “Maybe that was wrong, I don’t know. First, I couldn’t bring myself to contact anyone, but then it just became more and more difficult to get in touch with my past.”
“I know I am in no position to give my opinion, but I don’t think it’s wrong,” Benjamin says.
“You can always give your opinion,” I reassure him.
“Did you have friends in your old pack?” he asks.
“Yes, I had a small circle of friends. Eugene was the more extroverted one with the big group of friends, but I had mine, too. One of them, Florence, supported me in getting away from the pack. And there was also my dad’s beta, who always kept an eye on me.” I sigh. “And Mom truly loved me. I think I might have broken her heart by leaving, which makes it even more difficult to reach out now.”
“But she didn’t protect you, did she?” Benjamin asks. When I gaze at him in surprise, he looks panicked. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to-“
“No, continue. I am curious to hear what you want to say.”
“You said she supported and loved you, but she knew things were going downwards, and she turned a blind eye to it.”
“Silas says the same,” I admit. “That she was so focused on keeping her ‘happy family’, that she forgot how much it pushed me into a corner. He thinks I’ve always put her on a pedestal, and that she deliberately ignored what was going on. Goddess, I was so pissed when he said that the first time.”
First and only time I was actually mad at him. Although obviously, he was right.
Benjamin tilts his head. “Don’t you think they will find out where you are sooner or later?”
“You and Silas practiced this beforehand, didn’t you?”
At that, Benjamin laughs. It’s the first time, in a while, that I see him smile so openly. Maybe the first time ever.
“I have been thinking about reaching out to my old friends,” I tell him. “Maybe it’s time to mend some bridges.”
