Page 29 of A Chance at Redemption for the Alpha
Amends
*BENJAMIN*
Micah and I take the truck to town. The roads are rocky and not particularly well attended to, so most of the pack cars are very sturdy. I love them, though. While I did get my license because my father wanted me to, I never had the opportunity to drive. But Micah has taken it upon himself to help me practice.
“Be careful at the next corner, Benji,” he says. “Slow down a bit. This is not an automatic truck.”
“Driving a manual car is so difficult,” I say.
“But you are getting there. Manual transmission gives us a bit more control,” he explains. “You are doing well, don’t worry.”
“Micah,” I say. “Why are you so nice to me?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” he blinks.
“Don’t you know how shitty I was to the omegas in my old pack?” I ask. “I was a bully.”
“You were a victim to an abusive father and psychopath, and you did what you had to do to survive,” Micah says. “There is a lot of good in you if you’d learn to leave the past behind.”
“I don’t know what to do with my guilt,” I admit. He is the only one I can talk to. I don’t know why. Initially, when I came to the pack, he was the one who picked me up with Silas. He was also the one to show me around, and although he knew every detail of my past, he was very kind to me. He is a soft guy, and my past self would have hated him and probably bullied him for being that kind of man. For my father, onlyrealmen counted, whatever that means.
“No matter what we say, and how often we tell you that you deserve a second chance, we can’t absolve you from this guilt,” Micah says. “That’s something you have to work on and do yourself. We can’t do it for you.”
“I know,” I mutter.
“My alpha was terrible,” Micah says. “Marcellus saved me back then, or I would have been dead. Honestly, if I could have saved my own skin and made my life less miserable by going against others in the pack… I don’t know what I would have done. I want to believe I would have been strong and stand by what’s right, but I don’t know for certain. There is no guarantee.”
“I think you would have always done the right thing,” I proclaim. Like Marcellus always does the right thing, I add in my mind. I am an alpha’s heir, too. I should have it in me as well, but apparently, I don’t.
“That’s sweet of you to say, but we don’t know that. You didn’t cross a certain line; you never sexually assaulted anyone.”
“Yes, the bar is low,” I say. “I rejected my first mate.”
“I’ve heard that story,” he says. “Doubt she was ever meant for you, Benji. Don’t get me wrong, but she fits way too perfectly with her current mate. That’s not to say you don’t deserve a great mate! I think there is the perfect woman out there for you, who will complete you. I believe the goddess just wanted to steer you on a different path by making you see the things you could have.”
“You know what’s pathetic? I actually found her so beautiful, and she was so strong. I saw her defending other slaves all the time, nothing could break her. That’s how strong she was. When I realized she was my mate, I was happy, and then I got terrified of my father’s reaction. If he knew she was my mate, he… he…” At the mere thought, a shiver goes down my spine. Even after rejecting Freya, I made sure to keep it a secret. He would beat me for even looking at her. If he knew she was my fated mate, he might have killed me for being mated to a slave.
And he certainly would have killed her.
Micah grabs the wheel. “Eyes on the street,” he warns. “You are getting distracted.”
“Sorry,” I say miserably.
“Listen, only you know what you went through, and what you could have done differently,” he says. “None of us in Sunset Hills judges you. You are here because you deserve a second chance, and we are here because we either need a second chance too, for whatever reason, or we want to make this a safe place for those who need one or for those who were so hurt they need to recover.”
“I want to help make this a safe place for people who need to heal,” I admit.
“I think that’s a great way to make amends,” Micah points out. “See? There is a lot you can give!”
I am not sure if that’s true, but I want to try at least.
Micah and I make a few stops to gather everything we need. The list is pretty long. Marcellus and Silas usually plan these trips once a month, so that we can stock up on everything for the whole pack. But sometimes – like today – a second trip is necessary.
“We’ll probably need a delivery system at some point,” Micah says. “I will talk to the alpha about it. I have a few ideas, I think I could outline and organize something.”
“You are really good at that,” I say. “Where did you learn that from?”
“It’s something I always enjoyed,” he admits. “In my old pack, I was part of the kitchen staff and learned a lot from the head omega there. She also taught me about how to grow things and tend to a garden.”
