Page 46 of A Chance at Redemption for the Alpha
“Last night, I was with someone else.”
My chest clenches at her revelation. “I know,” I admit. “I felt it. I kept telling myself it was a panic attack or something, but I knew.”
“It didn’t feel right,” she admits quietly. “I know you will think I am a terrible person, but I can’t be your mate. This place isn’tbad, but it’s not for me. And you are surprisingly nice, but I don’t think we would fit.”
“You haven’t given us a chance,” I tell her.
“I want something else,” she says bluntly. “I want a mate who can provide me with the life I want to live, with comfort and a bit of luxury. He doesn’t need to be a ranked member, but at least an elite warrior.”
I am not sure what to say. I do have money from my inheritance from my dad, but I don’t want to go back to that type of life, and I swore to myself to use this money wisely. I would be willing to try everything for Isla, but I am who I am. “I am Benjamin Morris,” I say. “With my past and history. This is who I am. I am willing to try to change as much as-“
“No,” Isla interrupts me. “I don’t want that. Sorry, but I don’t want you, Benjamin.”
“Did you even try to consider me?” I ask her. “At least for a moment?”
“I did,” she says. “But I am sorry, I don’t want this life. I want more, I want someone better.” She looks at me. “I, Isla Davis, reject you, Benjamin Morris, as my mate.”
I feel my heart break, but maybe I deserve this. This is my karma. For a moment, I consider denying her the rejection, but who am I to force her to stay with me when she doesn’t want to? I look away from her. This is the second time; the second time I have broken a mate bond. I doubt there will be a third chance for me. This is the price I have to pay for being me. “I, Benjamin Morris, accept your rejection.”
The pain of breaking the bond a second time has numbed everything around me. I don’t know how I managed to drag myself away from the sunflower field and into the forest, butonce there, all my strength gives in. I don’t even know what happened to Isla, just that the pain she felt shocked her, too. Fortunately, she left me alone, though, so I can be alone in my misery and not embarrass myself further.
I lay down on the cool ground of the forest, feeling how my consciousness gets dragged down and exhaustion settles in. My dream drags me through my past and makes me see my father and what he did to me, how he always beat me without any mercy. If I were lucky, he would only leave bruises; if he was in a bad mood, he would draw blood. I dream about how I found a picture of my mom once, just to have Dad rip it apart.
Good thing I ripped the heart out of your mother’s chest before she could coddle you.
This last memory is horrifying enough to wake me up with a gasp. My heart beats so fast I feel my head getting dizzy. My palms are sweaty, while my whole body trembles.
“Careful,” I hear a voice next to me. “Don’t push yourself. Just take some slow, deep breaths.”
I whip my head around to come eye to eye with Marcellus. Before I can jump up, he raises his hands and skids further away from me. “I am not going to touch you. I won’t even look at you if that’s what you want,” he reassures me. “Please believe me. Let me help you.”
My chest feels so tight, it makes breathing difficult. All I can do is cower on the ground, my thoughts reeling and spinning in my head. My poor mother. She never had a chance. I never even met her. Why was he so cruel? Why did he have to kill her? He took everything from me, even my mom!
Can you hear me?
I startle at hearing Marcellus’s voice in my head. He doesn’t use a mind link a lot with me. To my surprise, I feel yet another presence, a calming and comforting one. My wolf stirs slightly in my mind, and for a split second, I feel nothing but relief. Ithought I had lost him. I thought being rejected and losing our mate for a second time would make him fully turn his back on me.
“It’s okay,” Marcellus says quietly. “My wolf is reaching out to yours. Just keep breathing. Can I come closer?”
I nod.
Marcellus carefully moves closer, sitting down next to me, while I feel my heart rate coming down and my thoughts calm slightly. It’s only then that I notice I’m covered in a blanket and that it’s pitch black around us. When did night settle? “Oh fuck!” I blurt out. “I didn’t notice it’s that late! I am so sorry, I promised I would show around Charlie and Nova, and then I just-“
“It’s okay, Benj,” Marcellus says quietly. “You did nothing wrong. Nova told us you put a lot of effort into showing her around, and she and Cassian had to drive back to their pack after the meeting anyway. And Charlie spent the afternoon with Silas, as it was planned.”
“Did anyone notice?” I enquire, not able to voice what I truly want to ask. Did anyone notice my breakdown?
“No, I made sure to cover for you,” Marcellus reassures me. “Only Silas knows, and Micah, because he helped look for you. Don’t worry, it will stay between us.”
“You are not mad that I dumped my responsibilities on you and Silas?” I ask.
Marcellus sighs. “I know you always believe I am going to hurt you,” he says, much to my surprise. “I don’t know how to gain your trust. All I can do is reassure you that I won’t ever hurt you,” he pauses. “Would you tell me what happened?”
“She rejected me,” I say, not sure why I even tell him, but I just need to share this with someone.
Marcellus’s eyes snap open. “You met your mate?” He ponders, before realization seems to settle in. “Yesterday, when you went shopping with Micah.”
I look away from him, feeling embarrassed again. “She wasn’t too excited to realize it’s me,” I say bitterly.
