Page 79 of A Chance at Redemption for the Alpha
“Exactly. To be honest, I’ve wanted to contribute financially to the pack for a while, but Marcellus told me to think it through before I made any rash decisions.”
She smiles. “And this is not a rash decision?”
“No, it’s a fantastic decision,” I say. “So, how about we put this here“- I lift the basket- “into the fridge and then head out to thehardware store. There is one half an hour away from the pack, and we might get some materials and tools.”
Lori looks torn, though I can see the excitement in her eyes. It’s fascinating; her eyes don’t seem able to lie. “An investment,” she says. “For the pack.”
“Exactly,” I smile. “Let me link Marcellus and tell him about our plans.”
As expected, Marcellus is immediately on board. I know he was hoping for Lori to put her skills to use, and this is exactly the outcome he was hoping for. He also approves of me using parts of my money for it, but he wants to contribute from pack funds, also.Don’t spend all of your money,he tells me.It’s great that you have plans, but make sure to keep enough for your future.
Don’t worry, Dad left me quite a lot,I admit.There is still enough for me to live comfortably, and to get any potential, future children through school and college.
Then go ahead. Take my jeep. I am glad you and Lori found something you can connect through, even more so because it means she might connect to the pack, too. Good job, Benj.
I feel flustered at his words and unsure if I deserve the praise. I’ve always seen my father’s money as dirty, and didn’t want to ever touch it. It’s not like I’m that frugal; it’s just that I didn’t see the need to buy something for myself. But now, with Lori and her project, I’m happy to spend as much as necessary.
“Marcellus is on board,” I tell her. “Actually, he is very happy.”
“Really?” she asks. “He is… he is such a special alpha.”
“He is a great alpha,” I admit. “I hope you will soon learn to trust him, and us, the pack. But for now, let’s go! We have quite the task ahead.”
“Got it,” she smiles, and grabs a sheet of paper. “Right behind you.”
It’s pitch-black outside when Lori and I return to the pack. We were the last customers to leave the hardware store, but we got everything Lori needs for now, and some more items she said would be valuable for later, for when she starts work on the packhouse.
I am glad I didn’t completely fail as a mate today, though I am not sure what my father would say had he seen how little knowledge I have of all this ‘manly’ stuff like handiworks. I flinch at the thought of what he would have done to me.
“Everything alright, Benji?” Lori asks worriedly as we carry the last pieces inside.
“It’s just some shadows of the past,” I answer honestly.
Instead of scaring her off, my words seem to resonate with her because she nods. “You don’t need to pretend you are fine when you aren’t,” she says quietly. “I know those nightmares.”
“It just sucks so much, because I feel like most of it is my own fault,” I admit.
Lori grabs the basket from the fridge, and we settle down at the table outside her cottage. It’s dark, but still warm. She has no outdoor light yet, something we will be working on, but it’s oddly comforting to sit in the darkness of the night with her.
“Would you tell me?” she asks quietly. “I don’t want to force you or anything, and I don’t want to sound needy. And… oh fuck… I know I am fucked up, Benjamin. I don’t trust anyone anymore. I am so fucked up, I am sorry.”
“I don’t mind telling you,” I say. “You deserve to know the truth about me. If you ever plan on accepting me as your mate, it’s the least I can do.”
Lori pours a glass of juice for both of us as I start telling her my story. I don’t spare any details, telling her about my cruel father and how he led the pack, how he abused me, and tormented the lower-ranking wolves and she-wolves. I tell her about my first mate, Freya, and how shitty I was to her and the other slaves,and how I rejected her because my father would have had my head had he known. I tell her about how I bullied those below me, but make sure she knows I never sexually assaulted anyone. I also tell her about Isla, and how she rejected me for being part of Sunset Hills.
It’s almost two hours later when I wrapped up my story.
Lori is quiet at first. “Goddess!” she whispers.
“I know,” I swallow. “I am so sorry you got me as a mate.”
“I am not talking about that,” she says. “I just… I am so shocked by what your father did to the pack and to you. Benji, youwerea victim, too, you know that?”
“I still made poor decisions,” I say. “That’s a fact. Other people are victims and still manage to do better.”
“But you are showing your worth,” she says. “Maybe you didn’t back in your old pack, but certainly now. The alpha told me you are going to be his gamma, and he also said how much he respects you for the person you are. That means something.”
“Thank you for not judging me,” I say quietly. “You are one of the first.”
