She fixes him with a look that she must reserve for the kids and sets her mug down on the table.With the most terrifying smile on her lips, she places her hands on his shoulders, and says, ‘Don’t refuse the hospitality.Make yourself a drink.Just hold it.I’m dead serious.’
‘Will people care that much?’
‘Ohyes.They will.People still talk about the time Mina Jenkins said the tea was too weak, and that was in the early noughties.’
‘What happened to her?’Christopher asks.
‘She moved to Sweden in disgrace.Now, put a nice smile on that handsome face, and make yourself a terrible drink.’
As if to confirm this, the woman formerly behind the table returns with two jugs of lurid-coloured squash, and waits expectantly for Nash to make his selection.
With a Hollywood smile, Nash says, ‘Good afternoon’ to her.She seems to come to life, blushing and giggling like a teenager, while he makes himself a coffee.
‘I’ve never seen Enid so ...animated,’ Shaz murmurs.‘It’s disturbing.’
They all sit on fold-out chairs that have been laid out facing a small stage area next to a stack of yoga and crash mats, Christopher in the middle with Nash and Shaz on either side of him.
‘What happens now?’Christopher asks.
Shaz blows aggressively on her tea.‘Oh, I’m sure Tammy will start us off soon.She’ll just be waiting for everyone to arrive.’
‘Are you sure it’s all right for me to be here?’Christopher asks again.
‘Yes?’She gives him a look as if he’s just said something totally bonkers.‘Youlivehere, you own a business here, you employ Tegan.You are part of the community, and you’re also here to help out.Stop fretting.’
‘I just still don’t know anyone.’
‘Well, now’s the perfect time, isn’t it, you wally?’
On the other side of him Nash laughs softly.
‘If anyone’s not supposed to be here, it’s this one.’Shaz’s laugh is interrupted by a confused look, and she sniffs the air, before grimacing down at the enormous Cadbury’s Mini Eggs mug in Nash’s hands.‘Urgh, did you get the coffee?’
‘Yeah?’
‘Terrible choice, terrible choice.I thought you Americanslikedcoffee.That stuff is older than my kids.’
‘Well,theydo.But I’m Canadian,’ he says, with the tone of someone who has had to correct people on this many times.It reminds Christopher of Haf, the way she gets frustrated when everyone assumes she’s English.He wonders if everyone else here has similar stories.
‘Are you?!’she says with surprise, and Christopher discreetly gives her foot a kick.This might be new information for her, but they are both still pretending to not know who he is.Flustered, she adds, ‘Your accent.I’d never have guessed.’
‘I’ve been based in LA since I was a teenager.It comes out when I go home.’
‘Do you say “buoy” the Canadian way?’
‘You mean, thecorrectway?The way that makes sense if you’re on a boat and need to alert someone that there’s a boy the water, not just a buoy.’
He says itboo-eeand Christopher can’t help but snigger, as does Shaz.‘Whatever you need to tell yourself, babe, but that sounds silly.’
Before they can continue arguing, Enid from the refreshments table claps to get everyone’s attention, only to inform them they’ll be starting in five minutes.
‘That was a bit anticlimactic,’ murmurs Shaz, blowing again on her tea.Christopher is pretty sure he’s not seen her drink any of it.He risks sipping at his own cup, but it’s still nuclear.
‘Shaz?’whispers Nash, leaning across Christopher.‘I don’t mean to be rude, but is there no one else young here?’
Shaz snorts.‘Oh sorry, is it not LA enough for you?’
Nash rolls his eyes.‘I meant more, are there people who might be able tohelpwho haven’t recently had a hip replacement and/or grandchildren.A lot of people here look more inneedof help than available to do the helping.And there’s hardly anyone here.’