Page 56 of Missed Steps
“Listen to me,” Tommy continues. “Do you think yourcrush is the only thing I’ve noticed? Mark has followed you around, joining every club you’ve been part of since college started—and without fail, be it a club meet, a game, a party, healwaysapproaches you. And not to fight—I’ve been there to hear him try to strike up countless conversations with you that have nothing to do with competing. Do you remember Christmas ball? First year? Someone on our team spiked the drinks and everyone was sloshed drunk? Do you remember who helped you to the taxi?”
“Mark,” I grumble. That night had been the fuel for many fantasies.
“And do you remember what you said as he helped you into the back seat?”
“How would you even know?” I demand. Tommy hadn’t been there.
“Because I was standing right there.”
Oh.
“What did you say?”
“Tommy.” My face burns.
“You told him he smells good. And what happened after that?”
“You got in the taxi. We went home and threw up.”
“And?”
“And nothing. That was all that happened.”
“And Mark now wears the cologne he had on that night every day becauseyoulike it.”
“It’s the cologne he always wears, because it’s just the cologne he wears.” I scowl at Tommy. “It isn’t because I said he smells good.”
“I heard from Bethany that’s why. And she heard from Eddie, and given that those two are best friends and live together, he would know.”
I process that, still not believing.
“That’s just one example,” Tommy says. “My point is, Mark isn’t suddenlybeing nice to you because of your accident. The only thing that’s different is you’re giving him a chance where you didn’t before—and maybe that’s because of your leg on yourside, but it isn’t the reason behind his actions.”
Tommy lets out a huff and leans against the wall at his back. I process his words, scowling, and then frowning. I’m unconvinced by Tommy’s declaration of Mark’s long-term interest, but I can see it wasn’t nice of me to imply that Mark was pretending to be interested out of pity. Mark would be upset if he heard me say that.
“I didn’t mean that,” I admit. I lean back too and look away from Tommy. “I know we wouldn’t have fought the last two years if it wasn’t for me. I just—I’m upset because I always do this. We had a great time on the weekend, and he approaches me all friendly and wanting to spend time together and I do that. And he’s going to say it’s fine, but I saw that he was hurt, so it’s not finebut I can’t ever—” I stop myself. Tommy knows what I’m trying to say, and if I keep going, I’ll cry and wallow in self-pity.
“You were normal with him in front of me,” Tommy points out. But that’s only because I know that Tommy is safe.
“And then treated him like crap in front of his friend.”
Tommy sighs. “I’m not going to lie; if you’re serious about a relationship with him, you’ll have to work on the shyness. And maybe just talk to him about it? If you tell him you get overwhelmed interacting with him with other people watching, I’m sure he’ll tone it down for you.”
It’s a good idea. If Mark hasn’t written me off yet, I’ll try. Have I ever talked to him about how I’ve treated him up till now? I don’t think so. And honestly, I don’t want a few bad experiences in my past to ruin what I have—or could have—now. And Mark is safe, too. I just need to remember that even when other people are there.
Chapter Twenty
I’m in the library with Sebastian when Mark sits in the chair next to me. I look up from my notebook at him in surprise. Sebastian’s bright eyes flick up, acknowledging his presence, and his attention immediately returns to his books. Mark faces me, sitting sideways, and his gaze slips from my face to my books.
“Shoe shopping a no-go?” he asks, his voice blank and his expression unreadable.
I squeeze the pen. “I assumed you wouldn’t want to anymore.”Since I was, once again, a dick to you.
“I do. If you’re not busy,” Mark adds. Something about his tone and gaze is more reserved than I’m used to. Standoffish.
I swallow my nerves. “I just need to check this out first,” I say, closing the book.
As we leave the library and get into his car, I’m certain that I’m not imagining it—Markisbeing different. I’m sure he’s upset about earlier.
