Page 76 of Missed Steps
I say nothing, frozen.
“This.” He holds up a letter. I see the wordmedicalon it and my name. “You were in an accident?”
No. I want to say no. No, nothing happened. I’m not vulnerable. You can’t do anything to me now. I dumbly nod. Is he checking on me? The thought comes slow.
“And you got one hell of a payout, didn’t you?” he asks. “Chris would have arranged a policy like that for you, right? Where is he—”
Is he checking on me? Yeah right. “You’re not getting anything from me,” I manage to say.
His expression twists. “Listen here you—”
“Kyle,” Eddie calls. “He bothering you?”
Eddie.
Ronan turns his head, eyes landing on Eddie. I tremble, terrified that Ronan is going to recognise him. Start everything all over again. Ruin it. All of it. When I blink, I’m standing in the hallway alone with Eddie. Ronan is gone.
Eddie is there.
Just standing there.
My defences go up so fast they crush coherency and common sense into a stupor.
I want to tell Eddie to go fuck himself. Take a hike, screw off, leave me alone and never come back. Fear punches a hole through my reasoning. This isn’t a new wound; it’s an old one, simply rearing its head after being repressed for too long.
Eddie’s concerned expression morphs into a severe scowl, and his face reddens. I realise that my mouth is moving. That Iamsaying all those things in my head. They’re pouring out of me, unstoppable, and all of a sudden, Eddie has a fist in my shirt and my back is against the wall.
“What the fuck, Eddie?” Mark snarls, dragging Eddie back.
I blink, dazed, everything feeling far away and filmy. Thoughts slip away, impossible to grasp. Mark and Eddie shove each other and shout in each other’s faces. Eddie keeps gesturing to me.
Eddie is like my Tommy,Mark had said.He’s always had my back.
“He’s a piece of shit and he’s just playing you, you idiot!” Eddie roars.
“How dareyou push him like that!” Mark shouts back.
I drag in a breath. Despite how unstable I feel, despite how vulnerable and bare, I can’t stand back and do nothing. I can’t let Mark fight with someone so important to him.
“Mark, it was me,” I say, my voice gravelly. “I said a load of crap to him.” I don’t even know what I said exactly, but I know it was bad.
Mark glances at me, concern burning in his black eyes. There’s a hard glint in them still, and he shoves Eddie, fixing a lethal glare on his friend. “I don’t care what he says. It is never okay to push him like that, you got it?” His threat hangs heavy in the air. “You do that again and we’re done. You hear me? We’redone.”
“Mark,” I break the silence once more, my voice trembling. “It was me. Okay? Leave him be.”
Mark’s gaze jerks to me. “Are you hurt?”
“No.”
Mark is in my space within a second, and despite how furious Eddie looks, a measure of guilt creeps into his expression.
“I didn’t mean to hurt him,” Eddie grumbles.
“You didn’t,” I say, watching Mark’s expression harden at the words. I grab his hands before he turns to lay into Eddie again. I’m terrified of this sparking a distance between them that can’t be bridged; I won’t be responsible for Mark losing his closest friend. I won’t let my brother ruin things in my life anymore.
“My brother was here,” I say.
“Chris?” Mark asks, confused.
