Page 127 of Rule 2: Never Join a Christmas Dating Show
Normally I might smile or even chuckle, but now my heart is hollow. I glance at my phone again. Sebastian still hasn’t reached out to me.
I didn’t see him for the rest of the time in Ashcove, but Ella tells me he’s going to be hosting the live Christmas Eve segment.
I know she thought it was strange I defended him to my brother, and I didn’t want to ask more questions. Because I know Sebastian doesn’t want anything about our relationship to get out.
But I haven’t heard from him.
And maybe I never will.
Maybe that night with Sebastian was every bit as special as we both knew it was.
I vow not to call Sebastian again. My presence only hurts him. I’m clumsy and awkward and inexperienced.
Perhaps there’s nothing I can do, nothing I can say. Perhaps my only impact on Sebastian’s life was to make it terrible.
My teammates continue to chatter about the show.
“Who are you going to pick?” Axel asks.
I raise my eyebrows. “You’re really watching the show.”
“I told you that already,” Axel says.
I nod, but my mind feels foggy and unclear, like all the hits on my head in my lifetime are impacting me at once.
“You converted us all into Seeking Mr. Right viewers,” Noah says, and normally I would laugh along with them, but instead I plop onto the bench and start tearing off my clothes to gear up for practice.
“So are you going to pick Flora or Willow?” Vinnie asks, leaning in.
My eyebrows raise.
Vinnie shrugs. “It is a surprisingly addictive show.”
“With a nice host too.” Troy winks at me, but my face must fall, because Troy’s joviality is replaced with concern, as if he’s heard me get diagnosed with one of those life-ending diseases.
I look away.
I can’t look at Troy.
I can’t have him see what’s in my heart.
Because nothing matters. Sebastian won’t answer my calls. So what if I miss him? It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters.
Life is gray and gruesome.
“That is a silly question,” Dmitri says, his voice stern. “Of course he will pick Flora.”
“I like Willow,” Vinnie says.
“You are gay man,” Dmitri says sternly. “You know nothing about women.”
“Willow is intelligent,” Vinnie says. “And she is kind. They will have smart children.”
“Nothing can make Luke’s children smart,” Axel says, and I throw my sweatshirt at him, wishing only that I’d been able to make it dirtier and smellier on my walk to the arena.
“Flora is a former cheerleader. She knows sports.”
“She knows how to jump around on a football field,” Vinnie says.
