Something desperate stirs behind his gaze. Then it vanishes, replaced by the kind of resolve I’ve seen him have on the ice.
“I can’t make you promises. You’re the only man I’ve, uh, been with, and...”
“Now you’re talking too much.” I swing my arms around him and pull him closer.
His grumpy expression softens. “Oh, yeah?”
“It was bound to happen sometime.”
He huffs out a laugh.
I move my lips closer, because this is where I’m going to be brave, this is where I’m going to kiss him, but instead he pulls me into his arms.
And then we’re kissing.
Truly kissing.
He pulls away. “Normally my breath is better.”
“You’re excused. Mine isn’t...”
He puts a finger on my lips. “You’re fine, Cal. Really.”
I’m sure my eyes are narrowing, because he grins, and his eyes soften.
“Like couples who eat garlic together.” His skin turns scarlet. “Not that...” His Adam’s apple moves. “I mean, I guess we could be.” He knits his brow, and his eyes are rounder than before.
Did he imply that one day we could be a couple? His cheeks are red.
“I mean, when we return to Boston, I’m sure you have lots of other, um, options...” His voice is gruff, his cheeks red.
I smile. “Too much talking.”
His shoulders sink.
“No one is here,” I remind him. “No one will know, unless you want them to.”
He glances at me warily.
He’s probably thinking about the fact I’m a literal journalist.
I give an awkward smile. “I won’t put anything about that in my article, Jason. I swear. I get being closeted. I do.”
I personally haven’t been closeted since high school, but I remember the fear. I haven’t forgotten that. I remember the uncertainty. My sister Tessa is pretty cool, but I was surrounded with people who went to Church every week, who talked about ‘hate the sin, love the sinner’ and where the introductions to the Bibles written for teenagers referenced homosexual behavior as on the no list. I know, I got those same Bibles.
Turns out, those people around me weren’t that bad. But I remember the fear. It could have gone differently.
“I would never out anyone,” I say. “I promise.”
“I like women too. I’m not... I didn’t make that up.”
I nod slowly. Something in my chest fizzles. “I-I get it.”
I have friends who would say I shouldn’t have anything to do with him.
He’s focused on my face, searching me.
“But I like you too,” he continues. “I’ve liked you a really long time.”
