Page 8 of Georgia: Britain's Story: Part 1
“Oh,” I say, completely caught off guard.
“Like are you going to start dating? Swiping left and right?”
“What do you know about swiping left and right?” My inner mom pokes through.
“Mom, I’m 15. I know things now.”Oh my god. She’s not my baby anymore.
“Well, for your information, no. You won’t find me on Tinder or Bumble. I have zero plans to start dating. Promise,” I try to say in a reassuring tone.
“Why not?” Again, Caroline shocks me. “I mean, I know Dad’s dating, so why shouldn’t you?” I’m stunned into silence. “Mom, I know things.”
“Did Dad tell you that?”
“No, he didn’t have to,” she says firmly.
“Ooookay. Well, you should definitely talk to your dad about that.” I’m trying desperately to avoid outing Damian.
“Sure, but that’s not the point. I just, I just don’t want you to be lonely.” Her voice cracks and I with it.
“Oh, sweetie. I love that you care like that. I won’t be lonely, I promise. I’ll join a book club. I’ll take up golfing. I’ll keep busy, and when the time is right, or I meet someone who is right, I will go on a date.” I pause briefly, “Oh, or you know what??? Maybe I could get a dog?” I’m desperately trying to end this conversation on a high note and avoid talking about my love life with my 15 year old.
“Oh my god mom, please! Can we please get a dog?!??” Elodie shrieks into the phone. I laugh in my head. Of course Elodie has been on the line this whole time.
“Hi, Elodie! I am willing to discuss getting a dog once the semester is finished, and you’re home from summer camp.” This should buy me some brownie points—and some time.
“Okay Mom, sorry. I told Elodie to be quiet, but as usual, she couldn’t do it.” The eye roll is palpable. “We’re going to go watch a movie in the commons. I’ll text you tomorrow, okay?”
“Absolutely. You girls have a good night.” I pause, “You know I love you both so much, right?”
“Yeah, Mom, we know. Love you, too,” they both practically say in unison.
“K, night night babies. Hugs and kisses.”
The call ends, and I collapse onto my bed just in time for the sobs to wrack through my body. Now that the numbness has been pierced, I guess I’m just going to feel all the things now. Regret, shame, and grief wash over me, again, and again, and again. I’m mourning. I’m mourning the loss of our family, the loss of my children’s innocence, the loss of a warm body to share my bed with. I let myself feel it all. Now that no one can hear me, I let it all out. I sob for hours until I finally drift off to sleep, still wearing this damn dress.
I wake up to the sun bursting into my room. Guess I forgot to close the blackout shades last night.Wait. I scramble to find my phone, which I didn’t even bother to plug in to the charger. The time says 7:45 A.M. Oh my god, I slept in. For the first time in two years, I slept more than five hours. I unlock my phone to see no less than ten messages from Jess.
Jess
How did it go?
Bad, or like nuclear bad?
Britain?
hello???
Do I need to do a wellness check??
Wait, or are you having hot makeup sex with Damian right now, in which case, I definitely DON’T want to do a wellness check.
I totally support your decisions, but really? You’re going to go back to him?!
You are a strong, independent woman! You don’t need him!
Okay, it’s 9 PM, I’m hoping you just drank a bottle of wine and passed out. At 9 PM. For the first time in years.
Okay B, I’ll be at your house at 8 AM busting down the door if you don’t get back to me.
