Page 51 of Georgia: Britain's Story: Part 1
“8 years now, she’s my girl.” He pats the hull of the boat as he says it. I just laugh. He’s clearly quite smitten.
“Should I be jealous?” I ask, jokingly. He turns, giving me a deathly serious look.
“There’s no competition when it comes to you.”Oh. We just edge out of the no-wake zone, and he brings the boat steadily to full speed. I have to hold on to my hat to keep it from flying away. The boat bounces over the wake as we cross the lake, the cold spray flying up and misting my hair and face. I love it. I love being on the lake, surrounded by the smell of evergreens and the warm sun. There’s nothing quite like it.
We enter another no-wake zone, and the boat slows considerably. We’re pulling into a long cove that extends the length of a couple football fields. It’s narrow, only wide enough for one boat to drive through safely at a time. There’s nobody else out here, and no cabins or people on the surrounding land. He cuts the engine on the boat, and lets the anchor drop. I look around, wondering what we’re doing.
Liam pulls me on top of him so I’m straddling him on the boat’s bench seat. He’s giving me a mischievous smile, so I lean down and kiss him. He pulls off my hat before it makes contact with his forehead. I lick along his lips and he opens for me, grabbing my hips and pulling me closer so his erection grinds against my sex. I let loose a little moan and he grips me harder. My noise makes him do it again.
I move over, kissing his ear. Running my tongue over the outer edge, then sucking on his earlobe. I hear his breathing hitch as I move lower, kissing and sucking on his neck, occasionally biting. He groans as I let my teeth sink a little harder than the previous times.
“Fuck, Bambi. I want you.” His voice is a low hiss.
“Then take me home and you can have me.”
“Why can’t I have you here?”Seriously?
“1. No condoms. 2. I will need to pee afterwards, and…” I use my hand to demonstrate the lack of a toilet anywhere near.
“What if we just didn’t use a condom, and then I took you straight back home.”Fuck, I hate how wet the thought makes me, but he can’t be serious. It’s one thing to talk about it when we’re role playing or fantasizing, but real life is real.
“You don’t want to do that, Liam. Come on.” I move to get off of him, but he holds me firmly.
“That’s literally exactly what I want to do. I’m not saying we have to or that you have to want to, but I’m letting you know, thatiswhat I want.” I’m stunned, this suddenly feels incredibly serious. Maybe he doesn’t see “us” as having an expiration date. Maybe he’s forgotten I don’t live here and my whole life is back in Virginia.
“I don’t know if you’ve forgotten, but me pregnant would be a logistical nightmare.”
“No, it wouldn’t.” He’s being completely serious.What the hell?
“It’s only been at most a week and a half, more realistically, four days.”
“That doesn’t matter to me. I’ve been waiting for you for a long time.” I’m just sitting there shell-shocked and unmoving. He gently removes me from his lap and I sit back in the passenger seat. His expression has changed, hardened. He pulls up the anchor and wordlessly starts the engine, driving us back out of the cove. He still doesn’t say anything, and I don’t either.
NINETEEN
Britain
I’ve been sitting on the living room couch for two and a half hours now, waiting for him to come back from the marina. It only took 30 minutes for him to get the boat and come get me, but two and a half to take it back? He didn’t say a word when he dropped me off at his dock, and I didn’t say anything to him either. I guess the shoe has dropped, the spell has broken. I just can’t understand how he could honestly be considering having a child with me, already. This is all so new still. Not to mention we lead very different lives, on two very different sides of the country.
I’ve got this sick to my stomach, unease coursing through me. The first half of me is unbelieving that he’s already thinking this seriously about us, and the second half knows he should have been home a while ago.Thisis why I was against going out with him again in the first place, I knew that nothing could come of this except eventual heartbreak. I had just assumed the heartbreaking part would be all mine, not Liam’s. I guess now is better than later, though. If it already feels like this after such a short amount of time, in five weeks I’m going to be wrecked when I have to leave. And I will have to leave. I still have two kids who live with me, who need me.
What was I even thinking, leaving for six weeks? I’m already a mother, I have the mom guilt to prove it, and right now it’s all I’m feeling. It’s the pit in the bottom of my stomach telling me I shouldn’t be doing this. I should be home, for my kids, not here living some fantasy that doesn’t involve them. I shouldn’t be getting involved with a man who could potentially take me further away from them. I’ve been ridiculous to let this happen, already living with a man, one I hardly know, because he makes me feel good. I’ve learned before that this kind of happiness is fleeting and I’m just living on borrowed time. My kids are not, they are my constant, they’re what I live for. I need to wake up and probably move out of here.
I get up off the couch and head upstairs. I can’t admit to myself what I’m doing, but I am doing it. I have to leave. I pull my blue suitcase out of my closet and open it. I empty the couple drawers he cleared out for me and the few items I’d hung up in my closet, filling it up. I know I’m already crying, but I refuse to acknowledge it. I’m so stupid, so, so stupid to think this could work, that I could do this.
I go to the bathroom and dump the products sitting on the counter top into the cosmetics case, throwing it on top of the stuff I’ve placed haphazardly inside the suitcase. I look down and remember I’m still wearing his clothes. So I take off the sweatshirt, folding it neatly, and place it in his closet. I grab a t-shirt and cardigan from my luggage and throw it on.
I head back downstairs and wait for him to come home. And I wait, and I wait. He’s officially been gone for five and a half hours, and I’m starting to wonder if I should be worried. Like did he get in an accident? Did the boat run out of gas? I wasn’t trying to just leave him without talking to him first, without explainingwhyI can’t stay, but he’s making it really hard. One more hour, that’s it. I’ll give him one more hour.
I go get Georgia’s box from upstairs and start loading my car. I was feeling sad about leaving, but now I’m just pissed. Like, who just doesn’t come back? I send him a text.
Britain
Are you coming back?
I go get the black suitcase and put it in the car. I check my phone, nothing. Then I get the blue suitcase and put it in the car. I check my phone, crickets.Screw this. I go get my tote bag, closing the front door behind me. I get in my car and I don’t look back. Now I’m really pissed. I’m such an idiot for putting myself in this situation. I head towards town, calling Jess.
“Hey, girl,” Jess answers.
