Page 84 of Georgia: Britain's Story: Part 1
I didn’t know MS was having financial issues. That was news to me. I always knew I’d be taking over Constantine’s spot when he was ready to relinquish it, and hearing about the financial struggles put a weight and pressure on me that I hadn’t experienced before. I couldn’t let the company fail. Not with me at the helm. I knew I’d do just about anything to save it, but breaking up with you was the only thing I didn’t want to negotiate on.
Liam was like my big brother though, I knew he wouldn’t ask me to do this if he didn’t firmly believe what he was asking. He told me to think about it, let him know, and I did. I thought about it all fucking day. Rationalizing how I could stay with you. I’d never get to see you, but at least we’d be together. And then I started thinking maybe that wasn’t fair. You were getting ready to start college, and your adult life really. And I was getting ready to fight for the company. I started thinking how maybe itwasbetter to break up, so you could finish school, and I could start this project, and then hopefully, after a couple years we’d come back together.
I’d totally rationalized the whole thing by the time I pulled up to your house that night, but doing it was harder than I thought. When I saw you…I just thought…I thought, there’s no way. I can’t end this. I’d just have to figure out another way. I spent the entire drive out to Broken Ridge thinking of another way, but I came up empty. And as you know, I was being selfish…I still wanted you so much.
I needed you, knowing it was going to be the last time for a while and…I regret what happened. How I did it. But when I knew you were going to tell me you were in love with me, I had to stop you. If you’d said the words, if I’d heard them, it’d only make the pain ten times worse. I debated telling you then that I just needed you to wait for me, for a couple years. But I realized that would have been even more selfish.
I thought, maybe, you hating me a bit might be good. You’d be free to really live your life, no strings attached. I really thought I was doing the best thing for the both of us at the time. I didn’t know when you said I’d never see you again,” he lets out a small laugh, “you fucking meant it. I always thought we’d come back together, that you were myone, and a couple years apart would be nothing in the span of the rest of our lives. I truly thought that, Britain.”
Wow. Matthias finally finishes, looking at me, still. He never once broke eye contact the entire time. He meant everything he just said. I might have even been grateful for this explanation, but all I can think about is Liam. He did this. He ruined my life. He’s the reason I wasn’t around when Georgia was sick. He’s the reason Matthias and I weren’t together.
“I, um. I don’t know what to say.”Wait. “What did Julie have to do with allthis?”
He gives my hand another firm squeeze first. “So, I knew you left, but I didn’t know where or any of the details. I thought maybe you’d transferred colleges to put more space between you and me. I tried calling and texting, but never heard back. So I went to Georgia. It’d been six months since that night, and I was miserable. I was out of mind, and I begged her to tell me where you were. Ibeggedfor a phone number, an email address, anything, but she wouldn’t. She wouldn’t give me anything, not for all the money in the world. She loved you so much, she would have done anything for you.
So I bided my time, tried to stay busy with work, and then I asked her again, a year later, if she would tell me where you were. She denied me, again, but she did say that you were married, you were happy…and you were expecting. I thought I’d known pain before, but hearing you were married and having someone else’s baby,that, that destroyed me.
I stopped going into work. I was so angry, with myself, but especially with Liam. I felt like he robbed me. He came around to check on me eventually, and I just went into a rage with him, over you. I let him know he fucking ruined my life. He just took it, though. He even let me land a couple punches, and once I’d calmed down enough he told me why he’d asked me to end it with you. The real reason.
He said he’d been working on this development idea for a year or so. The biggest hangup was finding enough land that met all the right requirements: distance from town, access to utilities, price, the list goes on. He figured it out, though. Julie’s dad, my grandfather, is probably the largest single landowner in the whole valley. Liam asked Julie to help him get the land at a good price, one that MS could actually afford.
She did, she played nice, brokered an amazing deal. I mean, a once-in-a-lifetime, pennies-on-the-dollar deal for the land. But there was a caveat. She needed Liam’s help to get me to break up with you.
She told Liam that she’d just found out we were seeing each other and it needed to end, immediately. She said she’d always feared that you were Constantine’s child, and that our relationship was incestuous. She told Liam she couldn’t be the one to make me do it. She didn’t want me to ever find out I might be dating my own half-sister. And, she didn’t want me knowing Constantine and Georgia had an affair.
She knew I’d listen to him, so she asked Liam to do it. To break us up, and never tell me the real reason. And if he didn’t do this, the deal was dead…Liam told me anyway. Once he saw what a wreck I’d become, he told me everything, thought I deserved to know.
The first thing I did was go to Constantine, demanding to know if you were his daughter. He hesitated, and I thought I was going to throw up, but he said no. You were not his biological daughter, but that he did have an affair with Georgia. He never said sorry, never expressed remorse, it was just matter of fact. And I understood it; Julie or Georgia, it’s not even a competition. I couldn’t figure out how he was still with Julie if Georgia was ever an option.”Fucking Julie Scala.
“I know the answer to that, why he stayed with her all these years,” I say. Matthias’ expression turns to surprise, he’s hanging on my every word. He’s been enlightening me, it’s time I get to return the favor. “Julie found out about Georgia and Constantine and when she did, she went to work to end it. She had her father threaten to kill deals with your dad. She said she would bankrupt him and MS Group, but the real threat was she told him he’d never see you again and that's why he stayed. For you. It was in one of Georgia’s notebooks.” I let out a sick laugh. “Julie was the one who told Ray about the affair, too. That’s why he raped and beat Georgia, nearly to death. She’s the reason I exist today.”How fucked up is that?She set out to ruin Georgia and, in turn, ruined me and her own son.
“Jesus, Brit. I didn’t know that happened.” I can’t help but think Julie knew I wasn’t Constantine’s daughter. I couldn’t pass for Greek a day in my life. She did it because she couldn’t stand the thought of Georgia’s daughter with her son.
“Matthias, let’s be honest, I think Julie knew I wasn’t Constantine’s. I mean, look at me.” I motion to my pale skin and light hair, the spitting image of Ray, Alexander’s twin. “I think she just probably didn’t want Georgia’s offspring anywhere near her own. Imagine the wedding.” I laugh. “Georgia sitting on one side of the aisle, Constantine and Julie on the other.”
He lets out a small laugh, too. “Yeah, a real motley crew.”
“I, I really appreciate you telling me everything right now. For just owning it. I didn’t realize how much Liam kept from me. It’s like I don’t even know him.” I don’t, I don’t fucking know him. Our time at Spearhead is starting to feel like a mirage. It looked like a perfect oasis. It felt like one, too, but it never actually existed.
“I’m sorry to even ask this, but have you seen or heard anything from him?” He looks away from me.So he has.
“I have, he’s taking over Sonoma.”Yep, of course.He’s not in a ditch on the side of the road, that’d be too fucking easy.
“Right.” I’m trying hard not to throw up. “I haven’t heard from him since that night at Colton’s. I never thought he’d be one to just ignore the fact that I’m pregnant. I mean, it’s one thing if he wanted to break up with me, which I still don’t understand, but to just ignore this. I just don’t get it.” I don’t know I’m crying until Matthias wipes tears off my face.
“I’m sorry, Britain. I don’t understand it either. I’m so sorry, though.” I can’t hold it in any longer, I just start crying. Mourning the death of someone who never really existed. It’s clear to me whoever I just spent the last six weeks with is a different person than the Liam in Sonoma. Matthias moves the box of pastries out from between us, then wraps me up in his arms, pulling me tight against his chest.
I let him, but I don’t feel anything but pain, sharp and crippling hurt. Matthias just holds me, stroking my back softly. He doesn’t say anything, and neither do I aside from the occasional sniffle. Eventually, my breathing starts to even out, but he doesn’t release me, he just keeps stroking my back over and over.
The blunt tip of pain isn’t twisting inside me anymore. No, it’s being replaced by indignation with each inhale and exhale. If Liam can just pretend I don’t exist, I can do the same thing, too. I pull away from Matthias, looking up at him. If he wants a chance, here it is.Take it.
He drops his head slightly, testing. When I don’t shrink back, he takes it. He kisses me, and it’s exactly like I remember. Not soft, and not hard. Not satisfied, but not hungry. Like this is exactly where he wants to be, needing nothing more, wanting nothing less. I return the kiss, waiting for the feeling of wrongness to find me. But it doesn’t.
When Matthias moves his hand to the back of my head, I feel it. It’s a tightening in my core, a burning, and it’s like being 18 all over again. I bring my hand up to cup his face in return. It’s like riding a bike, being with him. It comes back to me, not all at once, and not overwhelmingly. This feels like a slow build, a start.
I eventually pull away, not because I want it to end, but because I won’t want to stop if we continue. Matthias misinterprets the motion, though.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that, Brit.” He curses under his breath.
