Page 20 of Constantine: Britain's Story: Part 2
One problem: The only person at fault here is me. Am I really going to beat the shit out of myself?Mentally, yes. With a baseball bat, no.
I walk over to her closet and turn on the light. It’s still mostly full of dresses on hangers I never even got a chance to see her wear.Fucking hell. I turn off the light and close the door, heading straight to the bathroom. The need to punish myself is strong, so I turn on the shower as hot as it’ll go and start unbuttoning my shirt.
I’m stopped midway by all the shiny glass bottles and cream-colored pots and jars still sitting on top of her counter, neat and organized, fucking taunting me. Everything looks like it did,perfect, her life woven into mine. Except it’s just an illusion. She’s gone. Because of me, she’s gone, and might never be mine again.
Fury like I’ve never felt before comes over me as I slam my fist through the mirror above her sink, shattering it instantly. I swipe all the shit on the counter against the wall with a loud roar as the bottles crack on impact, staining the paint while the smell of Britain’s perfume begins to permeate the entire space.Great,just fucking great. I’m such an idiot. I’ll never be able to get the smell out. I’ll have to move into a different fucking bedroom now that this one will smell likeherfor the rest of eternity.
I stumble to the ground, my body trembling with unspent rage as I try to regain my breath. Eventually the adrenaline starts to wear off, and I look down at my hand bleeding all over the bathroom floor.Hell. I rip off the rest of my clothes and say screw it. I’ll deal with all this shit once I’ve scalded and scolded myself in the shower.
“You look like shit, man.” I open the door to nothing less than a verbal assault.Spectacular.
“Thanks, Niko. Good to see you, too,” I deadpan as Niko walks into my house like he owns the fucking joint, followed shortly after by Silas carrying a duffle. “Good to see you, too, Silas.” He looks up at me and just nods before bringing his gaze down to my hand that I haphazardly wrapped with a hand towel. Looks like I’m getting the full welcome wagon tonight.
I shut the door behind them and head for the kitchen where Niko’s already pouring himself a glass of bourbon from the bottle I just set out, and Silas has the duffle open on the eat-in table, pulling out supplies.
Niko just stares at me before saying in between sips, “It’s been awhile, man.”
“Yeah, it’s been awhile since I’veseenyou. But you know, it’s funny, when I talked to you last week, you never mentioned that Britain was pregnant.” He chokes on his sip of bourbon. Once he recovers, he just shrugs.He just fucking shrugs.I have to work to try and push the rage back down.
“You didn’t ask, and it wasn’t my news to share.” I nod my head up and down, not trusting myself to say anything back, then look over to Silas.
“HIPPA,” is his only response to my query. “I need you to take a seat and let’s get that towel removed.” I wordlessly do as I’m told. As pissed as I am, Niko and Silas are doing me a solid by coming here to stitch me up.
“So, you had an accident?” Silas takes the seat beside me, unwrapping my mangled fist. I hiss as the towel gets ripped away from the gaping cuts.
“Yeah, my fist fell into a puddle of broken glass.”
“Uh huh. Doesthishave to do with the fact that you just found out Britain is pregnant?” Silas keeps working on my hand while he talks, never making eye contact.
“No.” Except now, he looks up at me.
“No?”
“I mean, yeah, I just found out she’s pregnant. But this,” I motion with my left hand to my right, “is because I fucked everything up and I’m just pissed at myself for not being here for her. I couldn’t be happier to hear that she’s pregnant.” I hang my head, embarrassed. It’s the truth, though. Having a family with Britain was all I’d ever wanted, and I ruined it.
“So, she didn’t tell you then?” Silas nonchalantly keeps pulling the thread on this.
“No, she did. I just didn’t…it’s a long story, but she told me when she knew. I just didn’t get the news until this morning. She did the right thing. It was just…me. It’s all on me.”
“Fucking Tori, man.” Niko finally pipes up.
“Yep, Tori was the one who told me.” As fucking unbelievable as this is going to sound, I’m grateful for Tori for once. Without her, I still wouldn’t know. I’d be sitting in my sad apartment in Sonoma, miserable.Now I can just be miserable here.
“I need to talk to Britain, but she won’t answer my calls. You guys helped her move, though, right?”
Silas doesn’t even look up when he says, “HIPPA,” and Niko doesn’t immediately respond.
“And what’s your fucking excuse, Niko?”
He runs his hand down his face in exasperation before answering me. “Cause Matt’s my brother! I don’t know, man. I wanted to tell you, but he asked me not to.”What?
“Wait, he asked you not to tell me about the pregnancy?Orwhere she moved to?” I legitimately might need the baseball bat now.
Niko just drops his head and shakes it, “Both.” I clench my left fist so hard, I might bust a vein.
“We’re talking about my child, man.Mykid.” I’m seething.I could fucking kill Matt.
“Just remember, you won’t be able to see said kid if you’re in prison,” Silas says, reading my mind. I take a deep breath, trying to calm the rage rolling through me. I’ll deal with Matt later.
