“Babe?”
“Oh, sorry, I was talking to some fans.” I’m trying not to slur, and I think she buys it.
“Okay. I ordered for you.” I follow her to the table. I order sake and start eating.
“Are you drunk?”
“No,” I lie.
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.” I have a problem . . . I know it. But I need alcohol like I need the gym.
I eat fast and chug my sake. I don’t usually act like this in front of her, but when I’m around alcohol, it calls to me like a siren calls a sailor.
“We can go,” she says sharply.
“Okay.” I try to walk without stumbling.
“Dayton, give me your keys,” she says.
“I’m fine, get in the car.”
She doesn’t say a word and gets in the car. If I would have known what would happen next, I would have let her drive.
I pull out of the parking lot and swerve. I can hear screaming and I see the truck coming, but I react too slowly. The next thing I know, I’m waking up in the hospital.
“You’re awake.” I hear a voice. I know that voice.
“Snow?”
“Dayton.” It’s Sal. “She has a broken arm and two broken legs. She might not dance again.”
That hits me hard. “I caused this.”
“Yes, you did. I wish you would have talked to me.”
“Some men don’t like to ask for help.”
“But you need it,” Sal says.
“Yeah.”
“Well, I will help you, but you need to do everything I say if you ever want to see the cage again.”
“Can I see Snow?” I ask.
“I don’t think she wants to see you. She wrote this for you.” He hands me a letter.
I can only guess what it says.
Dear Dayton,
You need help. You’ve tried to hide this from me, but I’ve seen you drinking. You probably don’t even remember the days I’ve stopped by when you were drunk. I didn’t want to confront you with it because I didn’t want to fight. I love you, but I can’t be with you. I can’t do it anymore. I don’t wish any ill will on you and I hope that you find peace. I don’t blame you for what happened, only because I don’t want that on your conscience. Please just leave me be. I have my own battle to fight now.
Snow
This breaks my heart. My lie fucked everything up, and I have nothing now.