Page 82 of Timber's Line
“I don’t remember,” I whisper. What did I do?
“Rape? I think that’s the word,” Silas growls.
I don’t have time to react when a fist connects with my face. I deserved that.
“You’re something else,” Memphis yells at me.
“I swear, I don’t remember any of it. I don’t hurt women. You guys know me.” I hold up my hands to defend myself.
“You’re done,” Sal says. I know he means with everything. I can feel the hatred radiate off the faces of the guys. Fuck. I have fucked everything up.
I hurt her. I hurt the one person who made me feel. I don’t know when it happened or how, but Timber chipped all the ice from my heart. Now, I won’t ever get that chance to return the love.
CHAPTERTWENTY-NINE
TIMBER
I watch the red drip to the bathroom floor, but it doesn’t bring me peace. I need to get away, but even that won’t help.
I clean myself off and head to the barn. I see everyone talking to Dalton, they don’t notice me.
I slip into Turbo’s stall, sit in the corner, and cry. He nuzzles my head, and I pat it. This is why I love animals.
“I’ll be okay,” I tell him.
“Timber,” I hear a low voice call out.
I slip out of the stall and face the guy I was falling for.
“What do you want?” I wipe the tears.
“I’m sorry. I don’t remember any of that,” he tells me softly.
“That was a pattern with you, wasn’t it?”
He nods.
“I made a lot of mistakes in my life. Hooking myself out was one of them, and you were another. Even when you were being a jerk, I still wanted you. I wanted something I couldn’t have or shouldn’t have. The times we spent together were some of the best times I’ve had in a while.”
“I want to make this right,” he replies.
“Just go. I can’t take much more humiliation.” I turn and head toward the house.
“I’m not giving up,” I hear him say as I close the barn door.
Everyone is sitting on the porch or around it, and they all look up when I approach.
“Timber,” Memphis starts.
I hold up my hand to silence him. “I should probably fess up now.”
“You don’t have to,” Ever says.
“No, I knew going on this show that some things from my past might make their way into my future. At first, I didn’t remember the party he was talking about. But now I do. I never felt pretty in school. Even before I even kissed my first boy, I was the fat slut. When some guys started taking notice, I felt like maybe I could find a boyfriend. But that wasn’t the truth. They didn’t want me—they wanted things from me. They would tell me I was beautiful and kissable and talk me into blow jobs. When they got what they wanted, I was discarded like trash. In college, it was the same. When I needed money, I would give a guy one just for twenty bucks. I’ve saved every penny to pay for school. Yes, Ethan hired me, promised a payday for me. I don’t remember Dayton being there. I did a lot of things that night that I’m not proud of. I told Dayton, and I will tell all of you since some of you might be in my future, if you still want me, I’m damaged. I am exactly what those girls called me—a slut. I have sucked more cocks than I can count. Every time, even when I was getting paid, I thought it would be different, that maybe there would be more. But I was fooling myself. I understand if some of you want to go. I’m gross. I hate myself for what I did.”
No one says a word. I start to walk into the house, but London stops me.
“You are not damaged,” he says softly.
