Page 19 of Healed By Doc
He sighs and his eyes turn sad when he looks up to see the horrified look on my face. How the hell can he talk so casually about something like this? “So much of what I saw was horrific and I almost became numb to it.” His eyes drop back to our joined hands. “I thought I’d left the violence behind on the battlefield. I wasn’t prepared for was to witness what was happening to you at home in my own country. That level of anger and violence inflicted on a child—”
“I wasn’t a child.”
“You were twelve!” he argues, those gorgeous brown eyes darkening. “That’s a child in my eyes, and that man, that beast had no right to hit you. I saw red. I wanted to kill him, Cara. I didn’t plan to, but in that moment, I wanted to kill him, and I did.”
“It was an accident,” I whisper.
“It was,” he confirms. “And I tried to keep him alive, but I couldn’t. I tried to plead self-defense, but then I was shown a video of your deposition claiming otherwise.” My eyes well up at the memory, of how scared I’d been, lying to the police and the prosecutor, knowing darn well that I was not being honest about the events of that night. “You were seated in a conference room, looking so small and scared…looking helpless, and I imagined putting you through the ordeal of testifying at my trial, and I couldn’t do it. So I pleaded guilty to aggravated assault.”
“I’m sorry,” I sniff. Anguish rips through me as I realize James saved me twice, once from my stepbrother and again from the ordeal of a trial, which would have enraged mystepfather. I drop my gaze to the counter, but he grabs my chin and forces it back to his.
“Don’t be,” he says. “I probably could have proven my innocence if I’d gone to trial, but Cara, I didn’t want to put you through the hell of it. That part was my choice and mine alone.”
“I lied,” I protest, the tears falling. “My stepfather, he said I owed him for causing his son’s death. He said he would kill me and then come after you if I didn’t tell the cops what I did. I’m so sorry. I should have…”
“You did exactly what you needed to do for your safety and self-preservation. I did what I did to protect that abused little girl; you shouldn’t feel guilty for doing the same,” he says, slowly rounding the counter and moving to my side. He reaches up and brushes a thumb over my wet cheek. “I don’t want you to blame yourself, Cara. I would do it all over again.”
“You lost your career.”
“A career that put my life in danger every day. As much as I loved being in the military, I went in because I had nowhere else to go. I had no money for medical school, and the military offered to sponsor me. I dedicated ten years of my life there, and now, even though I can’t legally practice medicine, I still get to do what I love without the risk of losing myself. Your testimony might have cost me five years of my freedom, but in the end, it saved my soul. I was losing my humanity on that battlefield. If I’d been re-deployed in that state of mind, I probably would have lost myself completely. So in a way, you saved me. That, and the work I do now is far less gruesome.”
“You just treated a man who shot himself.”
He laughs, the sound so loud, it fills the entire room and seems to clear up the dark clouds that have been hovering over us for days. “You’re right,” he says, laughter flashing in his eyesas he brings my hands to his lips. “Tell me what happened once I was gone?”
I sigh, but I feel the heaviness I’ve carried for years fade a little. “My stepfather wasn’t as cruel as Eric, but he was a nice man either. Fortunately, he was gone working most of the time. I left when I turned eighteen. Lived in homeless shelters and survived on the meager savings I’d hidden. Thanks to a few scholarships, I was able to start taking some college courses. It’s been slow going, but I’m well into my third year. Living here helps with living expenses, and I get to work with women and kids.”
“Do you like it?”
I nod. “I’ve wanted to do this my entire life.”
“And your stepfather?”
“I haven’t seen or spoken to him in years, and I want to keep it that way for the rest of my life.”
“No, you’ll never have to see or speak to him again.” His hand brushes my cheek in comfort, but it has the opposite desired effect. Instead of the reassurance it offered before, this time it causes a spark in me. I shamelessly lean into his touch, losing all reservations I had about the man and all the moments we’ve shared. Perhaps I should hold back a little longer, but I am so darn tired of fighting my need for him and second guessing every moment.
I want him.
Crazy as it sounds, I am in love with him.
I wet my lips, lifting my hands to his chest and trailing them over the hard ridges of his stomach. I can’t keep the neediness from my voice when I finally speak. “Are we done talking now?”
He exhales heavily. “I hope so.”
I look up to find his eyes heated, reflecting my own desire. There is hunger there, but beneath it, under all the lust and desire, is affection. Maybe that too is a reflection of my own, but I find that I don’t care. With my heart hammering in my chest, I push up on my tiptoes until my lips are almost brushing his. Until his breath is hot against mine and I can see clearly the dark rings in his eyes. Then and only then do I respond. “Then kiss me, Daddy.”
Chapter Eight
Doc
Trigger isn’t the first person to accuse me of having a hero complex. It’s damn near impossible to find a doctor without an ego the size of a small island, and I’m no exception.
This moment, however, has little to do with ego or hero complex and everything to do with the feelings I have for someone I have no business loving. I want to take care of her in more ways than one, provide in every way she’ll let me. Take all her burdens and shield her from the world. I don’t regret stepping in for her that night. Whatever pain the past carries, this is a moment that I will never regret.
Christ, I want to take care of her.
When she looks at me the way she is, with her hands on my chest and those emerald green eyes blinking innocently up at me, I realize there is nothing I would not do for her. Nothing I would not sacrifice to have those eyes on me for an eternity.
