Page 38 of Haunted Nights & Savage Sins
I was drunk, but I told him I wanted it. Hell, I even goaded him on. He stopped a few times to make sure that I did. He was gentle and attentive. All in all he was a good lover. The best I’ve ever had.
Which is more of the same problem.
He can’t be my best anything. He’s my captor. I should be wanting to get away from him, not wanting to have him rock my body the way he did last night all over again.
If I let him know that I want more of what happened, he’ll hold it over my head, use it against me. I don’t need to give him any more ammunition.
It’s a shame, truly. If Cormac and I had met under different circumstances, if our fathers didn’t force us into this blood pact of a marriage, maybe we could’ve made a good team.
The prickly outer shell that Cormac wears is just that, a costume. A defense for other people. I’m actually a bit honored that hemanaged to lower his shields even momentarily for me last night.
Still, that doesn’t mean things will change.
He’s still Cormac O’Sullivan and I’m still the bride he was forced to marry.
Slowly I sit up in the bed, doing my best not to make too many movements. I don’t want to wake him up.
I slide my feet to the ground. The chill zaps up through the soles of my feet and takes root in my bones again.
Cormac keeps fireplaces burning all over this mansion. I just can’t understand why this house is always so damn cold. I ignore my initial discomfort and slide out of the bed. Thankfully, he threw my clothes all in the same spot. I grab my dress and slide it on over my head.
I can smell a combination of his scent and mine. It’s comforting. I raise the collar of it to my nose and take in a deep whiff. More memories come flooding back from last night. The laughter, the stories, the long walk.
It really seems like I made a difference with him last night, but I don’t want to chance it. I can’t open myself up like that.
Quickly, I grab my panties and shoes and tiptoe out of the room. I breathe a sigh of relief when I close the door quietly behind me. The candles are still lit and I don’t dare flick on any of the lights. Instead, I make my way to one of the windows to look outside.
It’s nearly dawn. I can see the sun’s glow starting to tint the dark sky different shades of purple and orange.
I make my way to my room and quickly change out of the dress into appropriate night clothes. I could use a few more hours’ sleep. Maybe do a better job of trying to forget what I let myself do last night.
I snuggle into my bed and turn to my side. My inner thighs are sore from taking the pounding that Cormac gave me last night.
As much as I want to forget, I’m almost certain there are parts of last night that will live with me forever. The way he looked at me like I was the most precious gift. The surprise in his voice when I told him that I could only see him and not just the scar on the side of his face. The way he held me like I was the only thing that mattered as he finished deep inside of me.
“Shit!” I hiss and shoot straight up in bed. He came inside of me. I’m not on birth control.
How the hell do I forget about what happened last night if there’s a possibility that I could get pregnant? Quickly I do a calculation in my head. I’ve only just recently finished my period. It’s not the right time, thankfully. Still, I’ve heard of people getting pregnant when they thought they couldn’t. I’m not ready for a child.
I gnaw at my bottom lip as I think about what my life would look like if I did have Cormac’s seed. More seclusion. More loneliness. Just with a reminder of how little I’m worth. Would he even keep me around after I gave birth? I wouldn’t be of any more use.
Sadness threatens to consume me as I flop back down on the bed. There’s nothing I can do about it now. I can only hope my body is on the correct cycle and I’m not ovulating.
This will never happen again. I must make sure of it. I have to keep Cormac at arm’s length. I have to protect myself fromthe seemingly innocent charm he pretends to not know he possesses.
When my father sent me here, he sent me here alone. I’m the only one who is going to take care of me. It’s high time I remember that.
CORMAC
I don’t remember the last time I’ve felt this rested, or even slept this long.
I don’t need to look at my clock to know it’s well past the time I usually get up.
There is not an ounce of tension anywhere in my body. Is this what I’ve been missing all along, not having sex?
The second the thought goes through my mind I dismiss it. It’s not just sex that has me feeling like this, it’s because I had sex with Brenna. If I take her out of the situation and put in anyone else, I wouldn’t be feeling like this.
I stretch my arms over my head, trying to get my body to wake up. Letting my hand fall gently behind, I feel for Brenna. Panic crawls up my spine when I realize that she’s not in the bed with me.
