When I thought of his hands on me, they comforted me, caressed me, and possessed me. His fingers inside of me made more of an impression than when they were around my throat.
What is wrong with me?
I put the gun away and walked past him up the steps.
“Come on.” I opened the door and left it open as I walked into the living room.
I walked down the hall to peek in on Cason. He was curled up on his side in the middle of his little bed. I leaned over and pushed his hair out of his face. He had his uncle’s hair. I leaned over and kissed him.
I found Mase slumped down in the corner of the couch. I sat on the large chair by the window.
He smirked and rested his hands on his stomach.
“How are you?” he asked.
“Fine.” I said and looked down at the ground.
“No you’re not.” He grunted.
“Why does it matter?” I tucked my knees under me. “Stop telling me what I am.” I stood up. “In fact, just leave.”
He sat up and placed his elbows on his knees. He covered his face and his hands shook.
I sat back down and waited him out.
“I don’t know what to do.” He said.
“About what?” I whispered.
“About everything, you,” He pointed down the hall. “Him.”
“Cason.”
He nodded.
“I thought that’s what you called him.” He leaned back. “Why?”
“Why what?”
“Did you name him Cason?”
“I was going to name him Gason, my fathers initials, but then I didn’t want people calling him Gas.” I hugged my legs. “My dad’s middle name is Carter. My mom's name is Angela, I stuck with thesonbecause I like the way it sounded.”
“What’s his middle name?”
“Mattie.” I whispered.
He leaned back again and rubbed the stubble on his face. He looked down the hall and back at me.
“Does he know about me?” He asked.
“He knows about you, the you I used to know.” I looked off. “He knows his father and I grew up together and used to tease me and taught me all this cool stuff and made me read books I’d never have thought I’d like. How he used to challenge me. Taught me to be independent, to defend myself with my words and with weapons.”
Mase smirked.
“He has a pretty idealistic idea about his father, I figured the reality would crush him soon enough, let him have his fantasy.”
Mase frown and glared at me.