“And this is a church that’s against women… not being pregnant?”
She nodded.
Stupid question, I know. Sometimes it seemed like the whole reason for churches to exist was to punish women who had unwanted pregnancies. Well, that and to condemn homosexuality.
“Do you have a boyfriend?”
She shook her head.
“No. I went to a party.” She stopped as though she’d explained the whole thing. I waited. Then she began again, almost whispering. “I wanted to have sex; I did. I wanted to lose my virginity. Like those boys in that movie.”
“American Pie?”
“Yeah, that one. Anyway, I was flirting with Jason Marks most of the night. He’sreallyhot. I thought something might happen. It was a sleepover. Nobody’s parents knew there were boys there. It was a big secret.”
She stopped, seemed to consider what to say next, then, “Melody Sheck’s sister got us mandarin-flavored vodka. Everyone was kind of drunk. I kind of fell asleep behind this sofa. In the middle of the night, someone got on top of me. I thought it was Jason at first, and that was kind of okay, but then I realized it was this other guy, Donny Hyslip, and… he’s not, um, I don’t think he’s hot. So, I didn’t want to—but I felt bad about that, you know, not liking him just because he’s ugly. And, you know, I kind of just lay there and let it happen.”
She was quiet for a long moment, then she said, “My grandmother says I was raped. I mean, I guess, maybe. Anyway, that’s why she and Reverend Wilkie helped me.”
“It would have been okay to say no,” I said, even though I wasn’t especially good at saying no myself.
“I don’t know. There were people around and I didn’t want anyone to know it was happening. I mean, it was awful enough.”
“You told Reverend Hessel?”
“I did. I mean, most of the time I don’t want to talk about it at all. And every once and a while it’s like all I can talk about. Does that make sense?”
“Totally,” I said.
“I probably shouldn’t be talking to you about it either.”
“It’s all right. Since I’m from California. Most people here don’t believe anything I say anyway.”
And I certainly wasn’t going to use the information to blackmail Sue Langtree and Reverend Wilkie. And it was good to know that Donny Hyslip was a dick in case I ever ran into him.
“I mean, I am glad there won’t be a little Donny Hyslip running around,” she said. “That would have been awful. Looking at that face the rest of my life.”
I nodded agreement. The homily she’d read was beginning to make more sense. Bekah must have identified with Er’s wife. There she was waiting for her naughty husband/hot crush to come home and give her a toss, but instead she gets her brother-in-law/ugly guy who immediately announced his devotion to coitus interruptus—or in Bekah’s case, not.
When Nana Cole and Sue came back in, I said we should probably get going. Sue made me promise twice to come to the next rehearsal. I promised I would, though I had no plans to show up. I mean, promising seemed like the only way she’d ever let us leave. As we drove home, I asked, “What did Sue have to say for herself?”
“Nothing really. I tried to get her to talk about Reverend Wilkie, but she wouldn’t say anything other than he’s a good man.”
Even though he clearly didn’t like me, I said, “He might be a good man.”
He did go out of his way and against his religion to help a teenager in trouble. That’s what good men do. Right?
“The whole thing was humiliating,” my grandmother continued. “She tried to take my pants down for me.”
“You did ask for her help.”
“Yes, but she didn’t even—well, I told her I just wanted her to come in case I took a fall. She left me alone after that.”
Gray clouds hung over Lake Michigan. They looked like someone had pulled the stuffing out of a bunch of teddy bears. A lot of teddy bears.
“Sue and the good reverend were definitely not having an affair,” I said.
“How do you know?”
