“Is that all you found?”
“There were some other things that weren’t really important. He’s mentioned in the West Milton First Church of Christ’s Christmas Service as the choir leader. There are a couple of other mentions like that.”
“Thanks,” I said. “I appreciate it.”
“Did you want me to save these faxes? You can stop in and pick them up?”
“Sure, I’ll do that.”
I hung up. This was bad. This was very bad. My grandmother had a stroke when I came out to her. How was she going to react when I told her that her beloved minister was a meth addict? And then my mind clicked over to another possibility. What if he…
I mean, it wasn’timpossible. A lot of guys up here did it. What if he was like Denny? What if Reverend Hessel was into PNP?
Maybe I just had a dirty mind. But… it wasn’t that far-fetched. The AOL chat rooms were filled with married guys who wanted you to be discreet. It wasn’t that big a stretch to think that Reverend Hessel might be one of them.
Wait, had he held my hand just a bit too long at the hospital? Had he subtly… Ick!
I might be wrong. I certainly knew guys who thought everyone was gay, so maybe it wasn’t true at all. I was probably being an idiot.
But if it were true, it would literally kill my Nana Cole. The first time she had a stroke was not my fault. I had no idea that might happen if I came out to her. But now? Now I knew. I couldn’t tell her that her minister was using meth and sleeping with guys (if that did turn out to be true) because I knew what could happen. I’d need sedatives and a cardiac team on hand if I told her.
But I wouldn’t. Couldn’t. And there went the money. Crap. I was going to have to shut this whole thing down before she paid me. Seriously, though, this couldn’t go any further. I was not going to kill my grandmother in hopes of getting two thousand dollars, no matter how much I needed it.
I stood in back of the house looking at the blue, cloudless sky. For some reason I’d never considered that the sky seemed bigger here. It probably had to do with the fact there weren't a lot of buildings nearby. The only ones I could see were Jasper’s house—a white two-story, clapboard with a startling red metal roof—and his bruised and weathered barn. Other than that, there was nothing but gentle hills and fields and trees for a very long way.
I couldn’t tell you why I was thinking about the sky. Mostly, I had a sinking feeling in my stomach that I’d be spending the rest of my life in Masons Bay, which was about as appealing as being buried alive in a pine box.
I called for Reilly, but he didn’t come. He’d probably found something disgusting to roll in. It was fine. Nana Cole’s doctor’s appointment was about a half an hour away. By the time we got back from the doctor, Reilly would be ready to come inside.
After I got my grandmother situated in the SUV and before we’d reached the M22 at the end of the drive, she said, “Maybe we should go talk to Ivy Greene again. You know, if someone’sgoing to kill you it’s probably someone who cares about you. I think that was on theToday Show. Matt Lauer was talking about it, I think.”
She was right, of course. It might be Ivy Greene. She wouldn’t be the first person to slip out of a bar to commit a crime and hope no one noticed she was gone. The thing was, if she did kill her husband, she did it because he was a tweaker. Or worse. And I didn’t want Nana Cole to find that out.
“We need to stop,” I said, as simply as possible. “We should focus on your getting better.”
“What?” she asked, clearly confused.
“I don’t think we should ask any more questions about Reverend Hessel.”
“Well then I’m not going to give you the money.”
“I know. That’s fine.”
I kept my eyes glued to the road. I could feel her glaring at me. Probably not believing a word I said.
“I am better. Even if we’re not focused on it. I’m probably getting betterbecausewe’re not focused on it.”
“Well, good. I want you to get better.”
“So you can go back to Los Angeles?”
“That’s the plan.”
“Is it really so terrible here?”
Was it? Terrible? I did just have a date with a very hot doctor. And I wasn’t paying rent. And I had an excellent doctor giving me more Oxy than I could use. And I didn’t end each day smelling like a coffee bean. I mean, maybe it wasn’tthatawful.
On the other hand, the weather sucked. And there was nothing even remotely resembling Santa Monica Boulevard. Even the singular gay bar wasn’t all that gay. And you never saw a movie star. And there was no sense that something amazing was right around the corner.
