Page 102 of Finding Jack
I stepped closer to study them. They showed kids in superhero costumes or dressed as powerful knights and warriors. Some looked like ordinary kids. Others bore the clear signs of a fight with cancer; bald heads, steroid-puffed cheeks. I glanced at him, my eyebrows lifted in question.
“I make them heroes in their battles. It lets them visualize a victory. I get dozens of requests a week, and I do them for free.”
They were beautiful. Hopeful. And a tremendous gift—from anyone else. If Jack couldn’t do the other things he did, this alone would have made me fall a tiny bit in love with him. But he could.
“You have the ability to do so much more for them. These are incredible photos, but you could be changing the outcome in a real way. Treating them. Healing them.”
He shut the monitor off. It went black. It was abrupt. Final. “I found a different way to fight. I hate that you can’t see it for what it is.”
“And I hate that I do.” A deep sadness swept over me, smoothing out the angry places and drowning them in regret. “I’ve never told you much about my parents. They split when I was nine because my mom, she’s broken inside. She’s always chasing the next romantic high, the shiny new love. It never lasts, because when the new relationship sparkle fades, she can’t deal with looking at the real stuff underneath. And for her, it’s the feeling that she’s never enough.” My hands closed around my keys, and I fought the urge to run to the door. “I’ve watched a string of men try to fix her, put her back together, but it’s useless until she patches up some of her own wounds. And still, there’s some poor sucker always lining up to try. I swore I’d never do the same thing for someone. But here I am.”
A fresh wave of tears threatened, and I closed my eyes against them for a moment.
“Emily—”
I held up my hand. “No, let me say this.” I drew a calming breath and refused to let the tears fall. “I should have seen this. But I convinced myself somehow that if I could say the perfect words, behave exactly the right way, find the right sequence of conversations and grand gestures, that this would work out. I swore it wasn’t my job to save you, because no one can rescue another person. They have to do it themselves. I know this.” I squeezed my eyes shut again. “I used to know this. But I can’t control your brokenness. Why did I forget that?” The last part was only a whisper.
“Emily, stay. We’ve got everything else right between us. There has to be a way to fix this.” He shoved his fingers through his hair the way he did when he was stressed. “Please.”
“I don’t know how.” I walked to the door, pausing before I slipped through it. “I have never been so close to something this real. I’ve done everything I can. And I may have failed, but at least I tried. Goodbye, Jack.”
His silence said everything as the door clicked shut behind me, and I started the long drive back to town.
Chapter 38
I pulled into the spot in front of my motel bungalow and parked, resting my head against the back of my seat and closing my eyes, letting the scene I’d just left play on a loop in my mind. I didn’t want to go. But there was no point to staying.
When I’d reached that conclusion for the tenth time, I climbed out of my car to change my flight, shower and pack.
A man got out of the car next to me at the same time. I instinctively tightened my hands around my purse strap before a voice I knew called my name softly, and I looked up to find Sean coming around his car.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. Jack texted me and asked me to check on you, make sure you’re okay.”
I squeezed my eyes for a second before opening them and staring down at my disheveled self. “Just so you know, this isn’t a walk of shame.”
“I know. Jack was very clear that he’s been an idiot. He said you were pretty upset when you left. He wanted to make sure you got back safely, but he didn’t think you’d answer if he called.”
“True enough. I’m fine. I’m going to shower and head to the airport.”
“I checked the flights while I was waiting for you. If you let me take you to breakfast, you can still make the noon flight.”
I hesitated. I just wanted to get home.
He smiled. “I’ll even call Ranée and tell her to pick you up and make her promise not to ask any questions.”
“Deal.”
“Meet me at Annie’s in an hour?”
“Stupid Annie’s.”
He looked startled. “What?”
“Nothing. Yes, I’ll be there in an hour.”
And I was, feeling cleaner and unwrinkled but somehow no better. I slid into the booth he’d claimed. “Omelet,” I said to the waitress, who appeared as soon as I sat. “Whatever the cook likes best. I’ll eat anything. And a large cup of coffee. Very strong coffee.”
“So it didn’t go well?” Sean prompted me.
