Page 90 of Finding Jack
“I hope not. I can’t.”
Chapter 32
And I didn’t. I managed to keep my mind running down two tracks, but even at my most focused on work for the next three days, there was an underlying script running in the background.Come to Oregon. Come to Oregon. That’s crazy. Think about it anyway.
Tuesday night near midnight Ranée wandered out to the kitchen for some water. “Whoa,” she said spotting me at the table. “You still working? I thought you guys were set.”
“We are. Everything came out fine in QA. I’mjust refactoring a few code smells.” When she blinked at me, I said, “It’s like dotting I’s and crossing T’s.”
“Got it. So it should be fine tomorrow?”
“Should be.”
“How are we going to celebrate you surviving your first major project as a manager?”
I shrugged, still distracted by Jack’s invitation. “I don’t need any more shoes.”
“Meet me at Sarno’s after work. Drinks are on me.”
“I might be too exhausted for that.”
“But you have to do something.”
Yeah. Like go to Oregon. I shifted in my seat. I hadn’t told Ranée about Jack’s invitation because I didn’t want to hear her input. I wanted to make a clear-headed decision about it. Unfortunately, Ranée had learned to read me too well.
“Something’s not right.” She sat and peered at me. “What’s going on? Work got you down?”
I shook my head. “It’s been good. Hard, but this was my first of our biannual hell weeks and I’m getting through it fine.”
“So what’s up? Why not celebrate?”
“Because…”
She crossed her arms in a way that said she wasn’t moving until she got an answer. “Talk to me.”
“I’ll get a couple of comp days if the rollout goes well tomorrow, which it will.” I flicked a glance at my checklist, which I was going through for the fourth time. “I’ll get an extra-long weekend. So Jack asked me to come up.”
Her jaw dropped, and she gaped for two whole seconds before it shifted into a slow smile. “Well, well, well. When do you leave?”
“I don’t think I’m going.”
That wiped the smile off her face. “Why not?”
“For all the same reasons as before. Sean says Jack is buried under some sort of avalanche of guilt, and I’m not the rescue crew. It’s not my job to save him from himself. I don’t have the skills for that.”
“The skills? Girl, what do you think it takes to pull someone out of a rut?” She held up one hand, turning it this way and that. “This is all you need. All he needs. A hand up. This doesn’t take special training or equipment.”
“But this isn’t a simple rut. I’m worried if I pull him out that I’m going to have to keep carrying him. I’m not that strong.”
“You can’t carry the weight or you won’t carry the weight?” she asked.
I shrugged. “Doesn’t really matter, does it?”
“It does. And what’s more, I think you’re being overdramatic. Let’s imagine you go to Oregon. What’s the best-case scenario?”
“Jack and I have perfect chemistry and fall madly in love and he leaves everything behind to live in San Francisco. But you know that’s not how my brain works. I’m already thinking ahead to the problems, so I can solve them, but I see no good solutions.”
“We’ll get to that. Tell me the worst-case scenario.”
