Page 81 of Kiss Me Now
We settled into her breakfast nook with a cold glass of iced tea in front of each of us, the A/C cooling us down.
“Go ahead,” Miss Lily prompted.
So I told her about Senator Rink harassing me, getting the settlement when I realized I couldn’t win a prosecution, starting over out here away from the disillusionment of DC politics. How Ian and I had connected, and I pushed him away, then found I couldn’t stay away myself so I made up a flimsy excuse to see him in DC. How wandering the zoo with him had been perfect and easy, and everything had been going great until he asked me to make a public statement about Rink.
She took it all in without interrupting, only sipped and listened. When I was done, she sat in quiet for a moment. “Just to clarify,” she said. “You say he didn’t bring up speaking out about Rink until his assistant burst in and blurted out his name?”
“Correct.”
“Do you think they coordinated that, or do you think she genuinely didn’t realize you were there?”
I thought back. Sherrie had looked honestly startled to realize Ian had someone in his office. “I think she was surprised.”
“So it’s possible he brought it up only because she’d already mentioned Rink.” She set her glass down and patted at her mouth with her linen napkin. “I think you read him wrong. If Ian had wanted to drag you into this, he would have done it before you showed up in DC. He’d have been out here trying to talk you into it. And I don’t think for a second that he’d try to fool you with seduction or anything like that.”
I blinked to clear the image of Ian’s granny talking about seduction.
“He’s too straightforward for that. But either way, he still didn’t come out here. It only came up because his assistant inadvertently brought it up without any idea you were there. So it sounds like he’s been working on this for a while without contacting you about it once, correct?”
“Correct,” I said, still not convinced.
“Knowing Ian, my guess is that he felt like it would be unethicalnotto broach it with you, and he’d been avoiding you and trying to solve the problem from a different angle. But once you were right there, he probably felt he didn’t have a choice but to ask.”
It had to be impossible for Miss Lily to hear a critique of Ian and not want to defend him. I wasn’t going to try to change her mind, but I knew what I knew about how it had felt to sit in his office and have him ask me to confront the monster who’d tried to ruin my life.
I changed course, not willing to cause a strain between us. “Ian and I aren’t a good fit and trying to think about a love life right now stresses me out. I think I’d rather worry about solvable problems. Can we talk about how I’m going to keep the students out of the garden when it goes in?”
She gave me a long look. “One last thing before we move on. I dislike DC as much as you do, but I have never made the mistake of believing true public servants are bad people. I wouldn’t mind if Ian stayed there if he’d switch to a career more focused on doing good than digging up bad, because as much as I know someone has to do the dirty work, I think it can wear people down, and I worry about him.” She leaned over and patted my hand. “I’ll let it go now. Let’s talk about keeping hooligans out of your turnips. I have a few ideas.”
We went back to work in the garden for another hour, but I doubted I was good company for the rest of it. Despite a desire to forget Ian altogether, Miss Lily’s words kept running through my mind.He probably didn’t feel he had a choice but to ask.
Maybe what I was maddest about was the fact that it had pulled up everything that had happened with Rink when all I wanted to do was push it away. But that had been happening before I even stepped foot in Ian’s office. Being in DC was enough by itself to constantly remind me of why I left it—who forced me to leave it.
Maybe what I was maddest about was that Rink was still standing, and that wasn’t how it was supposed to be. The good guys are supposed to win.
The thought preyed on me more and more over the next two weeks, popping up during quiet moments between classes, or during the mindless prep work I was doing to get the upstairs rooms ready for painting. Normally, that was my time to think about lesson planning, but more and more often, my conscience kept nudging me.What if Ian didn’t have enough without my testimony to take down Rink?Did it make me complicit in keeping Rink in power?
By Thursday, I could only conclude after a sleepless night that if a statement from me was enough to establish a pattern for the senator’s behavior, I needed to make it.
But that meant violating my non-disclosure agreement, and Rink could sue me to get back every penny of the settlement. I’d spent over $300,000 between buying out my cousins and investing in renovation upgrades. The rest of it was sitting in an investment account that I could cash out and return, and I’d have to take out a mortgage on the house to repay that part of the settlement. I didn’t know if I’d even be approved for one on a starting teacher’s salary. But I’d spent most of the night staring at the ceiling, trying to do the math, only to come up with the same answer: I probablywouldn’tbe able to pay back what I’d spent from the settlement. But I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t come forward.
Possible bankruptcy was worth the risk if it meant getting Rink’s moral bankruptcy out of office. If it meant he couldn’t hurt another woman ever again.
I waited until my lunch break at school to send Ian the text I couldn’t take back.Wouldn’ttake back.
I’ll come forward on Rink.
His reply was immediate.No need. We got him.
I stared at my phone, stunned. “We got him,” I repeated out loud. What did that mean? I did a search of social media and news sites, but there wasn’t any mention of Rink in the headlines, and a scandal with him would definitely mean headlines.
I texted back.Not seeing anything in the news...
Will break next week,Ian responded.Will tell you all about it.
When? I asked.
Soon. But first, I AM SORRY. Wish I knew how to fix things with you.
