Page 66 of Betting on the Best Friend
“You weren’t always in their laps, wrestling, playing, sharing an inside joke every two minutes that no one else gets,” he says.
I draw back, stricken. “Are you saying this is my fault?”
“Fault?” He looks confused. “Why is there a fault? Nothing bad happened.”
“Dad,” I almost wail, “he wrecked everything. I didn’t ask him to fall in love with me, and it’s not my fault I can’t fall in love with him.”
His eyebrows shoot up, and he looks at my mom like he’s at a loss.
She nudges my plate toward me. “Eat your sandwich, sweetie. Then maybe you should tell us what happened.”
Twenty minutes later, we’ve rinsed our plates and moved to the long dining room table. It’s pockmarked and scratched from years of service, but my dad made it when my mom found out she was pregnant with me. The Ramos family had officially outgrown all the standard size family dining tables, and he hadno confidence that anything in a furniture store could withstand his four sons, much less adding a fifth kid to the mix.
Simply taking the seat that’s been mine since I graduated from my high chair lightens the weight I’ve been carrying since Charlie told me that he wasn’t sure what he needed for us to get past this. All of my biggest problems have been solved at this table, and this will be too. No one gives better advice than my dad, except my mom. I told them about Charlie’s confession and his temporary transfer to the main branch.
“So what do I do to get us back to normal?” I ask.
“Let me ask you something,” my mom says. “You say you’re friends with him like you are with Josh and Oliver. But if I didn’t know you and I was watching you two together, I’d assume you were in a relationship. That’s not how you act with Josh or Oliver. It’s also not how you act with your brothers.”
“If I treated Charlie like the boys, I’d be punching him all the time.”
My dad chuckles. “True enough. But the only time I’ve seen you act the way you do with Charlie, it’s with someone you’re dating, including Niles and every boyfriend back to high school.”
I don’t have a defense. If that’s what my parents say they see, that’s what’s happening, no matter my intentions. Regret invades my chest like the ragweed giving Joey fits right now. “I didn’t mean to.”
My mom stretches her hand across the table to take mine. “You don’t need to feel bad, Roo. But now that you’re aware of it, do the work to understand why you two are like that. You like being in a relationship and taking care of people. Could you have made Charlie your surrogate boyfriend without realizing it?”
“No, of course not. I know I’ve been pretty clueless, but I’m not that clueless.”
“But if Charlie took it that way . . .”
I groan. This is so messy. “I want things to be like before.”
“But he told you things were never what you thought,” my dad points out. “You have to figure out what you want things to be like now.”
“I already know! I want to be friends, but he says he’s not sure how long that will take. Or what he needs from me. What am I supposed to do?” I ask them.
“Be his friend anyway,” my mom says.
“I don’t think he expected you to get mad,” my dad adds. “Start by letting him in from the cold.”
“I hate that image,” I say.
“Then undo it,” he says, like it’s that simple.
But maybe it is?
“Excuse me a second.” I pull out my phone.
Sorry I walked off yesterday. You didn’t ruin anything.
Feels kind of ruined
It’s not
Sad you went to Main
Tacos tomorrow?
