Page 65 of The Husband Contract
“I mean, you didn’t even know me a month ago, so how would you have guessed this?”
“You know something, Sebastian?”
“I know many things. I know that two times two is four. I know that?—”
“No, silly,” she interrupts, laughing. “I was just thinking that I thought a love like this was only in fairy tales, and yet it’s come true for us. I feel like I should play the lottery or something.”
“Yeah, you should play the lottery. Do you play it often?”
“I mean, I don’t, but my cousin does. She’s won twice.”
“Really? What are the chances of that?”
“Yeah, it was how she was able to—” She stops and wrinkles her nose. “Well, anyway, she’s won twice, and she’s not always the nicest person, so I figure maybe I should play. Maybe I’d win, as well.” She grins.
“Wow.Lucky her.”
“Yeah.” Her eyes grow sad for a few moments. “I wish my parents were here to have seen us get married.”
“Oh? How did they meet?”
She laughs softly. “They met at a fair and very quickly got into a relationship. They married, and for all intents and purposes, they were dreadfully happy. I don’t remember much about them, but I can remember my dad reading stories and taking me to the park. I can remember them holding my hand.”
Her voice falters. “I guess I just wish they were here to see me. Wish they were here to see us. They’d be so happy for me. Really, they would be. If they could meet you, I’m sure they’d love you as much as I do.”
“I feel like I should tell you,” I say slowly, “that I didn’t have the same life growing up as you did.”
“What do you mean?”
“My parents didn’t have a loving relationship. My mother was from a family that came over on the Mayflower, but they had run out of money. She met my dad, and I think she cared more about what he had in his bank account than she did about him. He saw the blue blood in her veins. They got married, but I don’t know how long either one of them was faithful for. I don’t even know if they slept together more than twice—just enough to have my brother and me.” My voice is bitter. “They constantly argued, constantly tried to one-up each other. Sergio and I were just annoyances in the house. I did have a cousin, David. He was my best friend, just a couple of years older than me. He took me under his wing. I think maybe he observed what was going on in my house, saw how it was affecting me, even though I was a boy and didn’t express anything. We’d go on adventures. We’d go to the woods, we’d go out hunting. He gave me my first beer when I was thirteen.” I shake my head. “I got drunk off myrocker. My parents knew, and they didn’t even say anything.”
“Oh, wow. That’s crazy. Will I get to meet him? He sounds like someone really special in your life.”
“He died.” I let out a deep breath. “I was very focused on school and on being the smartest. I wanted my parents to acknowledge me for something. David… he caught his girlfriend cheating or something. He was upset and wanted to go to a party. He invited me to go, but I didn’t want to. We argued. He called me a square and said I was too young to be obsessed with working, and I told him he could party, but I wasn’t going to waste my life away. I wanted to make something of myself outside of my family.” I lean back in the bed and close my eyes. “I can still picture myself in my bedroom, still picture myself having that conversation with him on the phone. I can still hear the bitterness in his tone as he hung up—as he said he just wanted to hang out with me, his best friend, his favorite cousin. And I told him, ‘Next weekend.’”
“Well, I mean, you were working,” she says softly. “He should have understood that.”
“Yeah, I guess he probably did. He went to the party and got drunk off his rocker. I guess he saw his ex-girlfriend there, making out with some dude.”
“Oh, that must’ve really hurt him.”
“It did. He grabbed his keys and left.” I stare at her. “He got into a wreck. He died instantly at the scene. The people in the other car died, too. It was a horrible tragedy, and all I could think when I heard the news was if I had just gone, if I had just put the books down for one day...”
“You can’t blame yourself for that, Sebastian,” she says gently. “It wasn’t your fault. You were just a kid, and he chose to drink and drive. I’m so sorry.”
“It just sometimes makes me think that I don’t want to be that person, the one who lets people down. The peoplethat are special to me, the people that I care about…” I stare at her. “I have to have their backs. I have to be there for them.”
“I understand,” she says softly. “I really understand.”
“It’s made me look at life in black and white. It’s made me cold in some ways. Everything is compartmentalized. I have my work, my friends, and my nonexistent love life.”
“Well, it’s not nonexistent anymore.” She giggles. “You have me now.”
I stare at her and shake my head slowly. “I never believed in love. I never believed it was something that brought happiness. It doesn’t pay off like you think it should.”
“What do you mean?” she asks, confused.
“I mean, in business, there are transactions. You pay for something, you get the goods. If you don’t like what you’re getting, you negotiate, you get a refund, you move on. In love, people play too many games. They want too much. They use, they abuse, they hurt and oftentimes, they don’t care.”
