Page 109 of Princess Redeemed
But now I see the truth.
He was never trying to raise me.
He was waiting.
Waiting for me to break.
I hate that part of me still wants her stepfather’s approval, even as I stand here quivering in his shadow.
My throat tightens, but I keep my spine straight.I won’t flinch.Not this time.
Never again.
He looks at me like I’m something he stepped in.
There it is—the disgust, the contempt he’s never bothered to hide.
I used to wonder what I did wrong.Why he looked at me like I was a stain he couldn’t scrub out.
I don’t wonder anymore.I know.
I remind him of everything he couldn’t control.
He controls my mother.She does anything he says, lets him think for her.
He took everything from her—her strength, her intelligence, even her children.
She gave them all willingly.
He moves slightly, just enough to remind me that he still thinks he has power over me.That he’s still the shadow I had to grow up under.
But I don’t stop.I don’t shrink.
Because if I do, he wins.Again.
And I’ve given him enough of my life already.
“She won’t forgive you,” he says.
Nothing I haven’t heard before.
“Some things are more important than the loss of a mother’s love,” I say.“Ridding the world of your evil is at the top of the list.”
His laugh is a hollow echo in the twilight.“So certain, so righteous.”His words slither through the air, cold and biting.“Yet you stand here shaking like a leaf.”
I grit my teeth, digging my fingernails into my palm.I want to lash out, to wipe that smug smirk from his face.But I won't give him the satisfaction.
I remember how my mother used to tell me to ignore him.That she didn’t want to hear any more of my complaints.
I learned to keep things from her.The evil things he said to me.I learned the ways to keep him calm, to keep my head high despite the storm thundering around me.
I take a deep breath.Inhale.Exhale.
His words can’t hurt me.Not anymore.
So I keep my cool.
“Maybe I'm shaking,” I say, "but not out of fear.”
