Page 105 of The Secret We Keep
I laugh under my breath. She has no idea. “Only the Stoney Grange Gladiators.”
She looks at me deadpan. “I’m going to pretend like you didn’t just say that.”
I snort when I’m unable to stop myself from laughing. “It’s awful, isn’t it?”
“It’s quite possibly the worst thing I’ve ever heard, yes,” she agrees before adding, “but I can only assume a certain someone is playing and invited you?”
I nod subtly, before turning my gaze to out the window.
“Then it sounds like it could be fun. Fancy some company on the baseline?”
“I think it’s a sideline. And, really?” I ask, looking at her amused. “I mean, I don’t know how much fun it’s going to be.”
“Yeah,” Sarah chuckles. “He might have hot friends.” Then she shrugs nonchalantly, making me laugh.
I wouldn’t consider Danny as hot, but he’s the only other single man I know who plays on the team. “Okay, why not,” I tell her, going back to looking out of the window.
When the bus pulls into a layby and the doors open, my attention flits to the café with seating out front. I know the man sitting outside without needing to see his face.
Paddy.
Knowing he’s waiting for Tom, I keep my eyes trained on him, hoping he’ll turn so I can steal a few seconds to admire the man who, with every passing day, I’m more hopelessly drawn to.
He’s everything a girl could ever want.
And my stomach drops when a tall brunette, clearly older than me, woman arrives at his table.
What?
Paddy looks up from his phone, and it’s as though someone’s striking a blade straight through my middle. He stands and reaches out to place his hand on her hip, kissing her cheek before pulling out a chair and gesturing for her to sit down.
He knows her.
When the beautiful woman takes a seat, Paddy takes the one next to her. The flurry of warmth and scattering of hope that one day this man might be mine vanishes like a flash of lightning, shattering like a broken mirror.
Tiny shards of glass nick and jab at me, making my deepest fear come to fruition. I willneverbe Paddy’s girlfriend because I will always just be the girl he knew growing up. Regardless of everything we know about each other, regardless of how much time we’ve spent together, seeing him with another woman makes me feel like he will never be mine.
I need to stop. I’m being ridiculous.
Striking another blow, Paddy places a hand on top of hers, which is resting on the table.
Oh no.
The woman smiles appreciatively, looking at him with relaxed, comfortable eyes.
Yeah, they’re close.
Letting my body sag back into the cushion of my seat, my smile fades, downcast and staring right back at me in the reflection of the window, mocking me. I swallow hard looking past it, feeling a tightness in my chest and a knot in my stomach.
Slipping my hands into my pockets, I close my eyes, unable to look at the happy scene a second longer.
Perhaps it’s time to start putting myself first? If I’ve learned anything in my time with Paddy, it’s that my feelings count. What Iwantcounts.
Now that I think of it, it doesn’t matter if that wishing well was broken when I was a kid and made my wish. I know what I really want. Even if I can’t have every piece of the dream, there’s a slice of it that I can take for myself.
We've got shit to be doing
Paddy
