Page 13 of The Secret We Keep
Eventually, I let loose a breath. “Really, I just want to be happy. I want to write, sure. But more than anything, I want to feel happiness in a way that we used to.”
“I know what you mean,” she replies, moving closer to me.
“What do you think happened?”
Her tongue presses into her cheek. “I think somewhere, we got a little lost along the way. Doesn’t mean our wishes won’t come true, just means we have to work a little bit harder to get them.”
My gaze sweeps across the picture in my grip. “Do you remember this day?”
Holly looks down, laughing as she inspects it closely. “We followed them, didn’t we?”
“And they chased us once they found out.”
We both fall into a comfortable fit of reminiscent laughs.
“Ruined my brand-new trainers getting them wet. I’m surprised it came out this good, all things considered.” When I don’t say anything, Holly steps closer to me. “I think it came out so good because ofwhois in it.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“No, I’m not messing around. I mean it. Look at how he was looking at you.”
“Us,” I try to correct her, but she instantly cuts me short.
“I’m surprised he didn’t catch up.” Holly double takes. “No offence,” she then adds. “I mean, they could have easily out run us—three football players built like they were.”
“Maybe they felt sorry for us. A group of giggling girls, spying on them.”
“Maybe,” Holly agrees half-heartedly. “Or maybe, there’s more to it.”
I scoff. “That makes things weird. We were what, ten when this was taken? He would have been thirteen.”
“Okay, that does sound weird. But that was then.”
I abruptly flash her a look. “What are you getting at?”
She pauses. “Don’t think me and Fi didn’t see that way you looked at him.”
“The way Ilooked at him?” I can’t believe we're talking about this.
She tilts her head. “The same way you’re looking at the picture now.”
I steal my gaze away from the picture and the handsome way Paddy’s hair always fell on his face. I always wanted to brush it away, if only so that I could touch him.
“Pictures don’t lie, Morgs.” Looking down at my hands, Holly lets out a soft laugh. “You were happiest in these moments, when he was there. When we wereallthere.”
For some stupid reason, my eyes sting.
“Promise me something?” she whispers.
I nod.
“If there’s some sort of sign that you should attempt to talk to him while he’s home, promise me you’ll take it?”
The idea of getting the old me back tugs heavily. Okay, so she was just a kid in this photo, but if I could go back and speak to her, I’d tell her to take the chances and make all the mistakes. I’d tell her not to let fear hold her back because one day, she’ll be too scared to do anything, and it will all feel too late.
This goes beyond Paddy.
“I promise.”
