Page 3 of The Secret We Keep
As if it wasn’t bad enough that the last time I was here was three years ago, I’m already getting funny looks from everyone around me who’s also arriving. Some of them I recognise. Some of them I don’t.
Yes. It’s me, Paddy O’Keefe, the rebellious teen turned responsible adult. No, I’m not back for good, regardless of what my parents may have told you.
I can tell by the way Bill Brooks keeps his eyes locked on me while chatting to my parents, that he isn’t pleased to see me. I don’t get why, considering he and I have literally never spoken. Sure, we had our fair few run-ins back in the day, but the narrowing of his eyes makes me shake my head at him.
I take a breath and eventually climb out of my car, closing the door behind me. A quick check of the time on my phone has my pulse racing. Thirteen unread messages. Eleven missed calls. Yeah, thingshave got that bad. It’s not that I don’t care, it just hurts too damn much.
Laughter from nearby washes away my wayward thoughts. The rapturous burst and the gentle, not-so-well-hidden snort when she’s done, I remember from when we were kids. I know exactly who it’s coming from without having to look. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t the first thing to make me smile, and I mean genuinely smile, in weeks.
There hasn’t been much happiness lately, and coming back here today certainly isn’t going to change that. However, when I finally look at Morgan Brooks, she turns and walks inside the hall, not noticing me.
I missed my chance to steal a look at her. Still, I wonder if she’s thought about me in the time I’ve been away?
Then I shake my head.Why would she?
Maybe because she used to look at me like I was invincible. Always with that shy smile and eyes full of something I hadn’t quite understood until I was a little older. But that was then. So much has changed since.
Watching her through the window, she sits alone at a table, an understandable quiet energy exuding from her. She holds herself tightly. Almost as if uncertain. It’s clear that, despite my being away, my ability to recognise when someone prefers not to be where they are hasn’t changed.
Glad it’s not just me.
I’m saved from thinking much more about everything when my younger sister, Fi, comes and stands by my side.
I wouldn’t let her ride with me.
Honestly, as much as she and I still annoy the hell out of each other, I’ve missed her.
“Smile, Paddy. Thepartywill be over before you know it.”
I swallow, second guessing my decision to retreat to Stoney Grange. Maybe I should have just stayed in London? Handle my shit rather than running away.
“Well, considering we’re not even inside yet, I’d say the odds aren’t in our favour of being home before the game starts.” Not that the game’s more important than being here, but I need to chill out for a while.
Fi hums with a smile, looking around the carpark. “What’s his problem?”
I follow her gaze to Bill who is still watching me like a hawk. “Fucked if I know?” I stare down Morgan’s father like it’s a duel, willing myself not to look away first. I don’t like losing. Which is pretty ironic considering it was my choice to leave Stoney Grange for good after I’d finished uni. And yet, it was at that very moment I felt like I lost everything.
Instinct has me looking in Morgan’s direction inside. A few moments tick by without her noticing me staring. She’s definitely grown up in the past three years. Her hair’s still the same, all rebelliously curly and wild, but I’m no longer looking at the teenager I once knew. She’s a woman now. She’s wearing make-up. Her breasts are fuller. Her body has tighter curves.
Shit. That’s so fucking inappropriate.
“You going to speak to her?” Fi asks gently.
I quickly look at my sister who’s watching me. There is absolutely no reason why Iwould walk over to Morgan and say anything. Sure, she used to follow me around when she had a not-so-secret crush, but she was nevermyfriend.
“No.”
She leans back against my car as we wait for Mum and Pops. “Then Mr Brooks probably just wants to know how long you’re back for this time.”
And there it is. The burning question I know she’s been dying to ask since I got here. “Fi—”
“I’m glad you’re home,” she quickly interjects with softness, turning her body slightly towards me.
My eyes close, and I suck in a breath. “Until Monday, Fi.” Then I have to get back to reality. Sort things out.
I’m not sure what Mum will have promised her, but I can feel hope draining from her with every shallow breath she takes. She eventually looks up at me, and I give my sister the best smile I can muster. But it’s fake.
“How’s Hannah?” she asks, reading me, swiftly changing the conversation to keep me on my toes.
