Page 75 of The Secret We Keep
His response has my eyes darting upwards.
“The drinks were paid for at the bar.”
“By who?” I lean to look around him, but I don’t see anyone I recognise.
He turns as if he’s looking as well but quickly looks back at me. “Didn’t catch a name. He just offered to pay.” He shrugs. “And considering you’re still waiting for somebody to show, I figured why not take him up on his offer.”
Dropping my purse into my bag, I curl my fingers around each other. “He?” I try to look again, but everyone who is sitting around the bar is deep in conversation. I don’t get why anyone would pay for my drinks, considering I don’t know anyone here. I can’t be certain, but what if the person who bought the drinks is the person who followed me?
“If I see him again, should I send him over?”
My heart reaches my throat. “No,” I fire at the barman, making him stand taller. “No, don’t do that,” I say, much less shouty this time, unlocking my hands and taking a large sip of my drink. I don’t even knowifI was followed. I’m letting my thoughts run away from me. I need to pull myself together.
With a slight laugh, the barman nods. “Got it.”
He leaves me on my own again, and as soon as he’s out of sight, I make my retreat to the ladies’, urgently locking the door and sitting on the lid of the toilet, a black, creeping sense of dread sneaking up on me.
I need to leave. Once I’ve calmed down, I’m going to get out of here. I don’t know what I was thinking, stepping into a place I’m unfamiliar with. No wonder I feel so out of my depth.
Going to work on my own is huge for me. Going out on my own, is another thing entirely. In hindsight, I shouldn’t have even attempted it. What I should have done is waited until Holly could come get me or been brave and asked one of my parents to give me a lift.
I guess this is my problem. I’m so caught up in trying to prove I can do these normal things, instead of admitting that I can’t. I mean look at me. I’m twenty-one, and I’m hiding in the toilets because my best friend is a no show, and I think someone who potentially followed me, has gone and bought me a drink.
My brows draw together.
Fuck. I’m so stupid.
I rub the creases on my forehead, my eyes firmly closed. Then I breathe in. And I breathe out, letting some of the tension escape.
When I finally feel able to stand, I push to my feet.
The door to the ladies’ opens, and I hear someone walk in. Whoever is in here closes the stall door, so I pointlessly flush the toilet, and go to wash my hands.
I splash some cold water on my face and grab a paper towel, dabbing it to my cheeks. That’s better.
Then my phone dings in my bag, making my heart race.
Paddy: Curly fries, I’m back in Stoney Grange. Fancy some company if you’re walking Kevin tomorrow?
I’m sad it’s not Holly messaging, but just hearing from someone familiar, instantly makes me feel more relaxed.
Sure. That would be great
Paddy: Everything alright?
How does he know? And more so, how do I respond to that?Um, no, you didn’t reply when I implied that we’re more than just friends then you disappeared like it’s no big deal.
Yes
Paddy: Curly fries?
Why does he insist on calling me that?
No, okay? Everything is not alright
Paddy: What’s wrong? Where are you?
At the pub just outside of Stoney Grange
