Page 48 of The Secret We Keep
He forces a smile, one lip tugging up slightly, but I see his features tighten. “Regardless, I broke his nose like I said I would.”
My insides twist. “You didn’t?” I pull his arm back to make him look at me, heat flaring in my ears.
Sure-fire eyes glare back at me, forcing me to hold my breath. “I did. And I would do it again in a heartbeat if I ever saw him around, Morgs.” He watches me for a moment, his jaw ticking.
My heart feels like it’s about to escape from my chest. I didn’t know Paddy had done anything. I only knew that he left soon after without really saying his goodbyes.
Realisation then dawns.
“Is that why Rory disappeared for a while?”
His eyes bounce between mine, always assessing me. “That isn’t the only reason, no. But he didn’t want to be seen. I should never have done what I did. My career could have been over before it had even started.” He takes a deep breath before his hand cups my face, stealing mine. “But I couldn’t let him get away with hurting you.”
Nervous heat swirls all over my body. We’re standing so close; I can feel his heavy breaths hitting my cheeks. “How do you know he hurt me?”
He frowns. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Paddy?” My mouth closes, the words drying up as my eyes refuse to look away from his lips. This is all too much.
I’d known that something must have happened for Rory not to show his face. I never knew it was because Paddy stuck up for me. Defended me.
Yes, almost losing my virginity to Rory Lane isn’t something I’m proud of, especially because I know it should never have happened. He accused me of being frigid when I panicked and ran, and rather than telling him to piss off like a normal person, I let him ridicule me at school. About five minutes into rolling around the sheets with him, I knew I didn’t want to be there anymore. When I pushed him off, he tried to carry on anyway. I was disgusted, but that wasn’t the worst part.
Once I refused to give away my innocence, Rory tossed me my clothes and told me to get gone in such a harsh manner. Apparently, his mother was on her way home and he didn’t want to get caught. I knew it was wrong to let him speak to me like I was cheap. I knewhehad done wrong—that we both had made a mistake that night.
I just wasn’t expecting to have to sneak out the back of his house. The lack of emotion and empathy to make me feel worthless was humiliating. But I dressed, my body feeling dirty after getting naked with him and made my way home. It was only after a hot shower did I call Fi and Holly to come over. I didn’t share the details, just that I had spent the night with Rory and it wasn’t what I had expected.
There was no part of me that ever thought Paddy would defend my honour that way, especially as he never knew what really happened.
Resting his forehead to mine, he whispers, “I’m sorry.”
I swallow. “For what?” My voice is hoarse and laboured.
He pulls back, his hand still on my face, burning a hole right through me. “All of it.”
More confusion rolls over me.
Paddy angles my head towards him. His lips part as he leans forwards. “I should have been your first.”
Oh my God. No, he’s got it all wrong.
The warmth of his words reaches my core. I have a million questions I want to ask; a thousand things I want to say. All of which disappear when he reaches into his pocket, pulling out his phone that’s ringing loudly, breaking the silence.
The image of Mrs O’Keefe flashes on the screen, and I look in Evie’s direction, seeing her sitting on the gate, waiting for us.
Lifting a hand to my face, I brush the tips of my fingers across my lips, imagining the feel of his soft skin against mine. What I think was about to happen is something I’ve yearned for in the past. And it’s just my luck that as soon as the moment arrives, it’s gone again.
“Yeah?” Paddy answers, annoyance in his tone. I look at him, but he steps back, and I’m left with a chill racing down my spine.
I should have been your first.
“You know how much this means to her.” He gestures for me to follow him, his face relaxing sightly when our eyes meet momentarily.
I follow behind him, my mind reeling, seeing Evie up ahead, still waiting for us.
“Okay, leave it with me.” He hangs up, slipping the phone back into his pocket.
“Everything alright?” I ask timidly, wondering if we’re going to ignore our almost kiss and simply forget about it.
