Page 43 of Vicar
She went on, but he tuned her out. Had to, or else he’d never make it without ending her.
Thankfully, he got up the stairs and into the chamber before she pushed him too far. Though she’d stilled in his arms and her thoughts were shifting, he set her down carefully so she didn’t hit something that would drop him to his knees. Fortunately, by the time her feet hit the floor, her kinder side had risen, and with it, his Sigdir side.
“Oh myGod.” Trinity blinked as though waking from a dream. “I’m so sorry she took over me like that!” Her cheeks grew rosy, and she flinched. “And in front of...” She closed her eyes and shook her head before she opened them again. “I can’t believe Jade and Thorulfsawus like that.”
He smiled and pulled her into his arms, just glad they had both resurfaced before any more harm came to her. Either from him or Violence. “No need to be sorry. Jade thought nothing of it, and Thorulf kept his eyes averted.”
“Still.” She rested her cheek against his chest and cozied in like she’d done it a hundred times before. “I might be embracing my naughty side some, but I’m not into public exhibitions. Especially in front of my sister and your brother.” He felt her hesitation before she kept going. “It’s one thing for her to kiss you, another thing altogether to see...that much.”
He realized that however much she might not like being intimate in front of others, she was less concerned about the sex and more put off by Jade seeing him. He also realized his Sigdir half hadn’t addressed what happened between him and Jade yet, and it still bothered Trinity.
“You must understand by now that wasn’t me.” He cupped her cheeks and made sure she looked at him. “That was all my Múspellsheimr side. A side that thinks nothing of that kind of behavior.” He shook his head, hoping she understood. That she felt his emotions as strongly as he felt hers. “I feel nothing for Jade outside of friendship, and that will never change. My Múspellsheimr side only used her to get closer to you.”
Her brows pulled together, and she frowned. “Not sure I’m much crazier about that.”
“Yet it’s true.” Vicar brushed his lips across hers and met her eyes again. “I’ve never met anyone like you, Trinity.” He offered a small smile, hoping to pull one out of her as well. “Unless we count the version of you I knew from the beginning.”
“While I still don’t like it and you have a lot of making up to do, you’re lucky I can feel your emotions and hear your thoughts.” Any frustration or jealousy she might have felt vanished. “Or else I don’t know how we could have moved forward.”
That sounded promising.
He couldn’t help a wider smile this time. “You hope to move forward with me then?”
“Wasn’t it obvious back in your chamber?” Trinity blushed but didn’t look away. “I...we...that was unbelievable. All of it. Not just the intimacy but the emotions.” She released a choppy sigh that spoke volumes about how she had felt. How shestillfelt.
And he agreed.
He’d heard it said time and time again over the years how different it was to be with a mate, never mind a fated mate. How intense the bond was, not just physically but emotionally. Yet, like his kin before him, he doubted it until he understood. Until he felt it firsthand. Letting Trinity go would be impossible, so they had to find a way through this. Find a way to not necessarily defeat their other halves but temper them. Make them more manageable.
“How do we do that?” she asked, following his thoughts. “How do we repress them and still defeat Violence?” Before he could respond, their surroundings finally caught her attention. “And where are we exactly?” Her gaze returned to his face. “Because it helps me like the Fortress chamber did, doesn’t it?”
“Ja, I thought it might.” He took her hand and gestured at the massive torch-lit cave. “This is the main cave of many. Commonly known as the Sigdir Lair, it was one of the original dragon lairs in these parts. It has housed my kin for at least five generations.”
“So all things Sigdir make me better,” she murmured, drifting forward. “It’s beautiful.”
He had never heard it described that way nor seen anyone unrelated take to it like she did. He certainly never had. “I’m glad you think so.”
“Why is that?” she wondered, responding to his thoughts. She didn’t look his way but drifted down one of several tunnels stemming off from the main chamber. “Why don’t you like this place?”
“Because it never suited me.” He shook his head and followed her, sensing something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. “Why?”
“I don’t know,” she said softly, heading toward the cave and lair that had been given to him if he ever wanted to use it. “Everywhere else has been familiar but this,” she stopped at the entrance of his cave, put a hand to her heart, and teared up, “this is something different.”
“What do you mean,” he began but trailed off when a memory manifested the moment he joined her at the entranceway. Like most lairs here, it had a wide yet protected opening that overlooked the ocean.
“Leave me alone,” tiny Trinity wailed, zinging into his lair with tiny Vicar right behind her. Whimpering, she whipped under his fur-covered bed flanked by torches and scurried back as far as she could go, shaking in the shadows.
“I was terrified,” Trinity whispered. They crouched down and watched the scene unfold. “I took off after we first met at the Alfheim cave and ended up here.” She glanced at him, and her brows pinched. “What are the odds?”
He agreed. It was telling. “What made you head in this direction? It’s a good distance.”
She thought about it a moment. “I guess it just felt safe.”
“Yet I didn’t?”
“I think I was afraid of all male dragons at that point.” She frowned at her tiny trembling self. At her wide eyes reflected in the darkness staring back at tiny Vicar. “I’d seen something right before arriving in Helheim...something horrendous.”
“I won’t hurt you,” tiny Vicar assured, crouching down. Careful not to move any closer and scare her, he smiled. “I promise. Like I told you before, my name’s Vicar, and I’ll protect you.” Quite serious now, he shook his head. “Never hurt you. That’s not what Sigdir dragons do.”
