Page 46 of A Celtic Secret
“I agree.” Cian nodded once. “’Twould be wise considering Raghnall already thinks you his.” He looked between them. “And I don't doubt for a second Riona will become his wife in short time if he gets his hands on her again.”
Riona’s jaw dropped, then snapped shut as she looked from Madison and Cian to him. “I...” She cleared her throat. “This is....”
“Nothing until ‘tis something.” Declán reached over and squeezed her hand, making things clear, however much it tightened his chest even more. “And if it does become something and ye agree, ye need not see through yer vows after we have freed the Kingdom of Leinster from Raghnall. Ye can return to the twenty-first century with my blessing.”
“Yet still married...to you.”
“Married to an unknown king that likely won’t exist anymore,” he clarified, working against everything he wanted from her. The love he sought. “Moreover, I doubt our vows would be binding a thousand years from now.” He swallowed back remorse but said what must be said. “Ye would be free to love whomever. Marry another.” He shook his head. “I would never hold ye back.”
“So you want to marry me,” she managed hoarsely, “that fast? This fast?” Her brows pulled together. “Which is how fast exactly?”
“Fast,” Madison answered for him when he feared saying another word. Feared Riona backing away and, as outlandish as it sounded, running back to the future.
Or worse yet, to Raghnall.
“Why would Ieverrun back to him?” Riona asked, mortified. “Why would you even think that?”
“I don’t know.” He shook his head, honest. “Only that some part of me fears it because you were married to him before.”
“Married.” Tears welled. “Then accosted in a druidess fire he had no place being in. One he didn’tbelongin.”
The vehemence in her voice and the pain in her soul told him everything he needed to know. She had felt violated from the inside out. Raped in a way most could not understand.
“I’m sorry.” He didn’t bother with squeezing her hand again but swung down, pulled her down as well, and cupped her cheek. “I cannot help my insecurities or stop how my inner wizard or even the flesh and blood man in me responds to Raghnall.” He shook his head again. “Not when it comes to you,mo chroí,because both sides of me,allsides of me, have loved you for longer than I can remember. Most likely before this life, whether I was your husband or not.”
He stroked her cheek, hoping she truly understood.
“I told you before and will say such again and again until you believe me,” he went on, “even if you marry me, you do notbelongto any man. Only to yourself. Love who you will, but your soul will only ever be your own. Your flesh, your own.” He searched her eyes. “Since I first saw you in your blue dress as a wee lassie, I understood that. Understood....”
A stunned look entered her eyes when he trailed off. “You saw me in a blue dress as a child?”
“I did,” he replied, baffled. It seemed there were dreams he didn't recall as well. “In a dream, and it only just came to me now. I only just remembered....” He frowned as the dream faded as quickly as it came. “You didn’t want me to remember it. You wanted me to forget it as soon as I saw it....”
“I saw what you just saw,” she whispered. Her eyes lit blue and welled as she cupped his cheeks. “Just for a moment when you were little.” A tear rolled down her cheek. “I saw you then.” She swallowed hard. “And Iseeyou now.”
“And that’s exactly what you needed to do,” Madison said softly. “Only ever see him. Never Raghnall.”
“I know,” Riona said, her voice choppy. “And I’m going to keep trying to do that as hard as I can. As much as I can starting now.” She nodded, and more tears fell. “So yes, I’ll marry you right away as long as you meant everything you said. That I won’tbelongto you. Only to myself. That my soul will only ever be my own. My flesh, my own.” She shook her head. “I’m not sure why that’s so important outside the obvious, but it is.”
“I feel the same.” Caught somewhere between fear for his kingdom and elation because she agreed to marry him, he brushed his lips across hers. “I swear I mean every last word. Since we reconnected that first time in this life, wherever it might have been.”
Her gaze held his for a time before she finally whispered, “I believe you.”
“I cannot tell you how glad I am to hear that.”
Rather than merely brush his lips across hers this time, he kissed her soundly. Deeply. With everything he felt. Not just at that moment but in all those fleeting dreams in between. With everything he hoped would come back to them with more clarity soon. But most of all, he kissed her with the joy he felt that she would at least be his wife for a short time. That he would be able to love her openly for all to see.
He wasn’t sure how long they stood there, simply losing themselves in each other, only that when they reluctantly separated, Cian and Madison were gone.
Riona blushed. “Guess that was sort of rude of us, huh?”
“I doubt they see it that way.” He waited until she swung onto Caith before mounting his own horse. “If anything, I imagine they can relate.”
He noticed she hadn’t returned her declaration of love for him, but it didn’t bother him in the least. Deep down, he knew it was only a matter of time. That she felt every bit as strongly as he. Something he could only pray would be enough in the end. Because the end was nearer by the moment.
So said the state of his kingdom upon their return.
