Page 7 of Her Scot of the Morrow
“I think that sounds like a great idea.” Ellie left the tray of food and drink, and they headed into the other room, but not before she glanced our way with a wise look in her eyes thatspoke to her inner witch. “Sometimes things aren’t better left to the morrow but best spoken about today.”
“I couldnae agree more,” I grunted, trying to bite back my anger at Willow for pushing me away and for not hearing me out as we grew older. Hell, for not hearing me out when we wereyounger.
“I heard you loud and clear,” she returned, catching my thoughts quickly, given how well she had become at blocking them. Her jaw tightened as she continued glaring at me. “You told me our engagement was off because you had to marry another.”
Willow pressed her lips together as if fighting emotions she kept from her face, but I still heard it in the quiver of her voice when she went on. “Just like that, you were done with me.” She swallowed hard, and her brow furrowed in distress before it smoothed quickly when she realized her emotions were getting the better of her. “Do you know what that felt like? To a teenage girl who had lost her mom? Pretty much her dad, too? You inflicted so much pain on me.” Her eyes narrowed in accusation before she sighed, tore her gaze from mine, and stared into the fire. “So I can honestly say I don’t care what kind of warped engagement you have with Lorna.”
“Yet ye should,” I ground out, unable to remain in this blasted chair one moment longer when I so desperately craved pulling Willow into my arms, comforting her whether she wanted it or not. Though more than tempted to slip my hand into hers, I stood beside her instead because I refused to say this to her back. Now she had no choice but to listen, I wanted to see her reaction. “As ye know full well, our fathers reached an arrangement, and I had no choice but to agree.”
I clenched my fists and refrained when I was tempted to touch Willow’s soft cheek and steer her eyes to mine. Let her see the anguish in my gaze rather than just hear it in my voice.
“Lorna made it clear years ago that our marriage would only ever be one of convenience,” I revealed. “For she isnae dragon nor does she desire laying with one.”
Willow’s brow furrowed, and her eyes finally shot to my face. “Seriously?”
“Aye, and you would have known that a lot sooner if you hadn’t shut me out,” I groused before I could stop myself, but she hadn’t made things easy over the years.
“What difference would it have made, Sloan?” As she searched my eyes, her pain was raw and unmistakable. “You were going to abide by your father and your king’s wishes no matter what. You made that more than clear.”
“I did,” I managed, wishing she could finally understand my reasons. Maybe if she had been close with her own father, then perhaps, at the very least, she could empathize. “I also made it clear there wasnae anything I wouldnae do for my da.” I couldn’t help but sigh. “He needed me, Willow, and I thought you understood that. I thought…”
“That I would somehow understand despite my father being so absent in my own life after my mother’s death?” she said, clearly catching my thoughts when I trailed off. Her tone sounded a little less vehement now. “How could you have hoped for that, considering what I was going through?” She shook her head. “What fifteen-year-old girl could possibly relate when her circumstances were so different?”
“And I ken that now,” I said softly. “But I would say much the same. What fifteen-year-old lad would know any better?”
“One who’s half dragon?” she countered. “Born in a turbulent century, where you have to grow up and navigate the world at a younger age in a country full of warring clans whose neighbors are determined to conquer you?” She shook her head. “Someone who had no choice but to grow up faster than mosttwenty-first-century kids because of where and when he was born?”
“You could say as much to me here and now, and I would agree,” I returned, remembering well the conflicting emotions I experienced back then. “Yet in my day and age, one does for king and country if ‘tis their father’s request, whether they are close to their da or not. And they most especially heed the king’s wishes if it somehow makes his beloved country stronger.”
I bit back a scowl that wasn’t meant for her, but the hardships I’d seen at the border over the years, and continued, my brogue thickening with my angst. “And ye knew that, or at least I thought ye did. Knew the difficulties my beloved Scotland was facing and how crucial it was that our clans grew stronger, whether through marital bonds or otherwise.”
Her gaze lingered on my face for a long, strained moment before her eyes softened and she swallowed hard, again, her voice hoarse with the same churning emotions as I felt. “It seems neither of us was old enough to grasp how the other truly felt.”
“So it seems,” I murmured because it was true. She might have told me as a girl what her young life was like in the twenty-first century, but I could never truly understand it as a boy who only ever saw her through a spectrum of young love and adoration. Never appreciate until a few years later what it was like to suffer the loss of a beloved parent, no matter the century.
“I’m so sorry about your parents’ death,” she said softly. “I had no idea.” Her delicate eyebrows whipped together. “Why didn’t you tell me whenthat’ssomething I could have related to? Helped you through? Maybe not the loss of your father, but most certainly your mother?”
“I tried…several times.” I shook my head, letting my gaze drop to the flames where my dragon might take comfort, given it hadn't had her when it needed her most. “But ‘twas always toodifficult.” I gave her the absolute truth. “Too much if ye ken my meaning.”
“Right,” she murmured, seeming to understand. But then she would, because despite our inability to truly relate to one another when we went our separate ways, she had always understood me like no other, except when I’d needed her most.
“Because even if we shared the bond of losing our parents, and I helped you through it,” she went on, “you would have still married Lorna in the end, so it wasn’t worth putting yourself through the heartache all over again.”
“Nay,” I admitted readily enough, meeting her eyes again because her gaze never left my face. “I didnae want to put you through it again, either, Willow.” I shook my head. “Yet as much as I tried not to suffer it myself, I did regardless.” I again refrained from cupping her cheek when I wanted to so badly. “Suffered every day since last I saw ye, then more so when ye learned to block my thoughts. Learned to sever communication.”
“You mean when I figured out I could get away from you in the air,” she assumed. “And you finally left me alone and got on with your life until this damn pact ignited.”
“Aye,” I confirmed, saying what was in my heart before I could stop myself. “And despite how dangerous it is, I would be lying if some part of me wasnae thankful for the pact breaking down that wall betwixt us, whether I can have you or not.”
“Which you can’t,” she murmured without the noticeable vehemence I heard in her voice before, but mayhap, to my hopeful ears, genuine regret. “Because I won’t be anyone’s mistress.” She shook her head. “I’d never do that to another woman, whether she was okay with it or not.”
“Nor would I ask it of you,” I forced past my lips even though my internal beast fought back because it would take her any which way it could get her. “Yet, for the sake of protecting youif your dragon doesn’t shift when it needs to, will you agree to some time spent in the Morrow?”
Clearly tentative and wary, her gaze lingered on my face for far too long as I waited with bated breath, praying she would give me the answer I wanted to hear before she finally responded yes, but with a stipulation that would make this impossible.
CHAPTER FIVE
–Willow–
