Page 100 of Kane's Awakening
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Kane
Nothing was more unsettling than the sound of gunfire. The way the bullets pierced the air and echoed all around made my stomach coil. Being inside didn’t help any. There was nowhere for the sound to travel except off the walls and back at me.
Even with my ear plugs, it was loud and triggered my anxiety.
Thankfully, it wasn’t as loud as it could’ve been. I chose a handgun, so I was in a separate bay from the long guns, which shot louder and required longer lanes. Most inside ranges didn’t even allow shotguns, but that one did.
Ryker had asked if I wanted him to come with me to the shooting range, but I’d said no. Facing my fear head-on was something I needed to do alone. I had relied on him too much the past several months, and I needed to gain back some independence.
About a week had passed since I’d returned to my position, and each day I went into work, I put my gun on my belt, but luckily never had to touch it during my shift. However, as much as I hated the thought, the day would come where I’d need to use it again. And I needed to be prepared. It might not be the next day or even next week, but it was foolish to believe it’d never come.
Guns had never scared me before. When I was younger, my dad had taken me hunting and I’d shot plenty of guns before I’d ever joined the force. Being around them was nothing new. My anxiety over them was all in my fucking head because of that damn night, and it was time to move on.
“Everything okay over here?” the range safety officer asked as I unpacked the gun and ammo from the provided bag.
“Yep.”
“You know the rules? Wear your ear plugs and eye protection. Keep your gun facing downrange at all times. Don’t place your finger on the trigger until you’re ready to shoot.”
“Yes, I know,” I answered, becoming irritated. “This isn’t my first rodeo with a gun.”
He nodded and went about his business, leaving me alone.
It was normal procedure for them to go around and ask those questions in the beginning. They stood back and watched the shooters and were available for any and all questions, but I wasn’t in the mood. I just wanted to be left alone.
For added protection, I placed earmuffs over my ear plugs and put on eye glasses. I’d worn a hat because of the damn shit from the guns that bounced off and could get in people’s eyes and hair. The bill of the hat was supposed to help. It couldn’t hurt any.
After I hung my target and sent it down the lane, I grabbed the handgun and loaded it. Only five rounds were allowed at one time to help the shooter keep track of how many shots they’d fired, so I loaded them.
But I didn’t aim. Not yet.
I stared at the target down the lane. It was just a damn sheet of paper with a bullseye on it, but the thought of aiming a gun at anything made my hands shake.
Just do it.Aim and shoot.
Raising the gun, I focused on the bullseye as my finger inched toward the trigger…fuck!I lowered it again.
The face of the guy I’d killed flashed through my mind and was then followed by that damn nightmare where he’d been decaying and taunting me in the window.
You did what you had to do, I told myself.
Anxiety crept up my chest, and before too long, it’d be in my throat, choking me. I did the three-by-three breathing technique Ryker had taught me; inhaled for three seconds, held it, and then exhaled for three.
Harry probably wouldn’t have survived if I wouldn’t have stopped the shooter. Shit,Iprobably wouldn’t have either. I’d stared down the barrel of his gun, so to speak. If I hadn’t pulled the trigger, he would have.
My eyes stung, and I coughed to clear the lump in my throat. Maybe I shouldn’t have refused Ryker’s offer to go with me that day. I’d thought I wanted to face it alone, but as I stood there, battling the shit in my mind, I wasn’t sure.
“Why do you want to be a cop?”Ryker had asked me that morning as I dragged ass getting ready to go to the range. It was Saturday, so neither of us had to work. He’d been lying in bed, still naked and with the thin sheet barely covering his waist.“More specifically, why did you want to become a cop in the first place?”
It was a question he’d never asked, and one I hadn’t really considered until then.
“I’m not exactly sure,”I’d answered, zipping my jeans and studying him, wanting to jump back in bed and fuck him all morning long and into the afternoon.“When all that shit happened with Devon, I kinda went crazy, wanting to be bigger and better than I was. I never wanted anyone to control me again, and I wanted it to be known that I wasn’t a guy to fuck with. I guess being a cop just sounded badass.”
Ryker had watched me a moment, looking fuckable and delicious with his messy dark-blond hair.“What did you want to do before that happened? What was your dream?”
I’d found a plain black T-shirt and slid it on.“Working with animals. Having my own farm and maybe training horses.”
