Page 107 of Kane's Awakening
“No, silly! For school.” He giggled as I lifted him again. “I’m doing a science project where I’m gonna make a volcano gokaboom!”
I lifted my gaze to Ryker’s, and he shrugged. “He begged me, so I had to say yes. He likes blowing things up. You should see him on the Fourth of July. He’ll be supervised, of course.”
“Will you come see me at the science fair?” Theo asked as he dropped back to the ground and ran to jump on the couch Superman style. He flopped around on the cushion and looked at me with an expectant expression.
“I’d love to. When is it?”
“Before school gets out,” he answered.
“May eighteenth,” Ryker specified, looking at his son with a half-smile before flickering his stare to me. “Only if you can get off work, though.”
“I’ll be there.”
“Promise?” Theo sat up and watched me with big, blue eyes.
“I promise,” I reassured him, feeling a weird sensation go through me. More than happiness, but a nervousness as well. I was honored he’d asked me and also a bit worried I’d somehow disappoint him.
I wondered if Ryker felt that way. Being a parent wasn’t easy, and it was impossible not to ever fuck up.
Anna and Brian came into the room, and Brian had his hand resting on Anna’s lower back, guiding her along. They looked so in love. The jealousy I’d felt for her previously was nonexistent then.
She and Ryker might’ve been a thing once upon a time, but they had both moved on to new people.
“I made lemon cake,” Anna said as Isabella went to her side. She played with her daughter’s hair and looked at us. “Do y’all have room for dessert?”
“Hell yeah,” I answered, even though I was on the verge of busting the button on my jeans. I was positive there was a second stomach made specifically for dessert. “Um, I mean heck,” I corrected when remembering the kids were around.
Ryker shook his head and wrapped his arm around me. I leaned more into him, loving how easy it was just to be us. He kissed my shoulder, and I turned my head to capture his lips with mine.
The contact was brief, but when we pulled apart, Anna was staring at us with the biggest smile I’d ever seen.
***
Later that night, we were in bed, and for once, we weren’t having sex. We were talking, and somehow, I thought it was even more satisfying.
I’d experienced Ryker’s body more times than I could count, but delving into his mind was like uncharted territory, and I wanted to know all there was about him. I knew a lot, but not enough. As he talked, I didn’t know if it’d ever be enough. Over the months, we’d grown close, but I wanted to be closer—to know all of his doubts, dreams, and any random shit he wanted to share.
I wasn’t a reader, but if I was, he’d be my favorite book.
I lay on my back, shirtless and wearing boxers, and Ryker lay on his side and faced me, wearing a white T-shirt and boxer briefs that hugged his crotch in a way that made me want to devour him.
“So, it didn’t scare you off?” he asked, resting his head on his arm and watching me with cautious eyes. “I knew they’d love you, but I was afraid you’d bail when it hit you that this is who I am. Not just Ryker, the man you fuck and like to hang out with, but Ryker, the dad who loves his kids and is serious about settling down.”
“Funny how we were both worried about the same thing,” I said with a half-smile. “It didn’t scare me away, though. Crazy, I know, but if anything, it made me want this even more.”
Ryker shifted to where his face was only a few inches from mine, and his brow dipped as he gave a questioning stare. “This?”
“You,” I answered, looking into his eyes before focusing on his lips and back up again. “All of you.”
Our mouths found the other, meeting in a slow pressing of our lips and gradual adding of tongues. My hand went under his shirt and glided across his soft skin, feeling every slight dip of his abdominals and the curve of his back. He panted against me, and I held him closer. Kissing him deeper.
“I love you,” he said as he broke away from my lips. “I can’t hold it back anymore, Kane. You touch a part of me I didn’t know existed. You’re who I need beside me. Someone I love and want to spend my life with.”
I stared at him as my heart pounded against my damn ribcage; a heart I used to keep locked behind bars, but one I no longer wanted to keep hidden. Before Ryker, I didn’t want to feel anything. Caring gave people the power to hurt me, and I’d rather be numb than be torn to shreds for trusting someone.
I’d let my fear control me for so long that I’d rebelled against the notion of opening myself up to someone and actuallyfeeling.
Until Ryker made me see clearer.
