Page 108 of Kane's Awakening
“Christ, I know it’s sort of soon,” he said after seconds of me not responding. His blue eyes flashed to mine. “But not reallythatsoon, if you think about it. For months, we’ve pretty much been inseparable, with the exception of a few days, and—”
“Hey, Rye? Shut up and kiss me.”
He didn’t kiss me. Instead, he continued to search my face for an answer to some unspoken question.
“What?” I asked, trailing my hand up his spine and resting it on his upper back.
“I just told you I love you, and your response was to tell me to shut up.”
“I didn’t mean ‘shut up’ in a bad way,” I said in a lighter tone, hoping he didn’t get the wrong impression. “Just ‘shut up’ like stop being so paranoid for saying the big, bad L word and take a breath. Everything’s okay. I’m not freaked the fuck out or anything for you saying it. I’m still here, and I still want you.”
The words he wanted to hear were on the tip of my tongue, but it was as if some unseen force was preventing me from saying them. The one and only time I’d told a guy I loved him, I got punched and dumped. In the same day. I had reservations about saying it to Ryker, even though he’d already confessed it to me.
Maybe it didn’t make sense, but my damn stubborn head didn’t seem to get that memo.
“Oh. Okay.” The hurt look in his eyes damn near crushed me, but he gained his composure and smiled. A smile I knew was fake. He unwound himself from my arms and turned over to grab his phone. He checked the time and looked back at me. “I have a consultation at eight-thirty in the morning. I should probably go.”
When he got off the bed, I sat up and reached for him, snagging his arm and pulling him back down. “You don’t wanna stay?”
He leaned into my touch and placed a soft kiss to my lips. “Iwantto. But if I stay, I don’t think I’ll be getting sleep any time soon.”
“Can’t argue with you there,” I said, leaning against the headboard and placing my arms behind my head.
Ryker found his pants and slipped them on before sitting on the edge of the bed to put on his shoes. After he was finished, he stood and scratched his nape as his blue eyes studied me. Hesitation rang from every part of him—his body language, stance, and the expression on his gorgeous face. He was only a few feet away, but the distance seemed longer.
“You better not be thinking you’re leaving here without giving me a kiss,” I said in my usual cocky way.
I also hoped it would let him say goodnight on good terms. The thought of him leaving there upset with me just hurt too much.
“Of course not,” he said, walking forward and brushing his lips against mine. The contact was short, and my body craved more… as did my heart. “Goodnight, Kane.”
Then, he was gone.
Minutes passed, and with each passing one, I became more anxious. Restless. My heart screamed for me to tell Ryker I loved him, but my brain shoved memories into my head about how shitty me confessing emotions turned out the last time.
I didn’t want to lose Ryker. Those damn three words were like a curse. Once spoken, shit would hit the fan.
Not wanting to text him while he was driving home, I waited about fifteen more minutes before sending him a message.
Me:Sorry I didn’t say it back, Rye. Admitting that shit is fucking hard for me. Just know you mean a lot to me, and I don’t wanna lose you.
Ryker:You won’t lose me. I’d rather you wait to say it until you mean it than to just reciprocate it to make me happy. That would be worse, I think.
Me:So, r we good?
Ryker:Yes <3
I smiled at the heart and tossed my phone beside me. Molly jumped up on the bed and plopped down by my feet, facing the TV. I turned it to the Syfy channel and flipped off the side lamp before laying back and closing my eyes.
