Page 113 of Kane's Awakening
“No, you are thefirstperson I need to come to,” he said as the tears escaped and streamed down his face. He swayed in place a bit before looking back up at me. “You’re the only one who gets the real me. You always have.”
“Oh? You mean the evil bastard you? Yeah, I know that side of you really well. Now, get the fuck off my porch before I kick your ass.”
“Kane.” His voice cracked on my name. “Vanessa found out. She caught me fucking a guy, and she’s leaving me. Years of sneaking around and pretending to be something I’m not, and now it’s all about to come out in the open. Fuck!” He grabbed his head with both hands and gripped his dark hair. “My whole life is falling apart, and I don’t have anyone. You’ve known me the longest—the real me. I need you.”
It was the first time I’d ever seen Devon so emotional. Yeah, he’d been emotional the day he’d approached me in the parking lot at the gym, but it wasn’t even close to what he was showing right then.
When he stepped closer, I smelled the alcohol on his breath.
“Shit, dude. Are you drunk?” I asked before looking at my driveway to see if the jerk had actually driven to my house in that condition.
He had.
“Maybe. I’m a wreck, Kane.”
Against my better judgment, I let him inside. Molly wouldn’t stop growling at him, but I kept petting her and trying to reassure her everything was okay.
Devon sat on the couch and rubbed at his red-rimmed eyes.
“What about the guy you were fucking?” I asked, sitting on the other end of the couch. “Can’t you go to him about this?”
“He bailed on me,” Devon answered in a defeated tone. “He didn’t know I was married. So he’s pissed at me, too.” He reached into his jacket and pulled out a small bottle of vodka before untwisting the cap and downing some of it. “Maybe I should just go drive off a cliff and put myself out of my misery.”
“Don’t fucking say that,” I snapped, grabbing the Vodka just as he was about to take another drink and placing it on the coffee table. “Killing yourself won’t solve anything.”
He sighed and lay back, resting his head on the back of the couch. “Why not? I’ve been such a bastard. To you. To Vanessa. To Max. All of you deserved better. I ruin everything I touch.”
Holy fucking shit.
“Max?”
Devon opened his eyes and looked at me. “Yeah, he’s the guy I’ve been seeing. Met him at a coffee shop and he’s the sexiest fucking guy I’ve ever seen. I shouldn’t have approached him, but I couldn’t stop myself, needing to taste him. I fucked him for weeks and never told him the truth; that I wasn’t just deep in the closet, but also married.” He leaned forward and put his face in his hands again. “Shit! I’ll never see him again. I fuck everything up, Kane.”
Confused didn’t cover how I felt. For years, I’d hated Devon for how he treated me, and yet, having him on my couch, basically pouring his heart out and being so upset, I had the urge to try to comfort him.
So, I put my hand on his back and rubbed in small circles. Ryker did it to me sometimes, and it always helped me calm down.
I instantly regretted it.
Devon grabbed my face and pulled me on top of him, kissing me. I shoved him. Hard.
“Dude, what the hell?” I yelled.
“I need you, Kane. Please,” he begged, leaning forward again. His blue eyes were barely open as he swayed a bit. “I just wanna forget for a while. Get lost in you like old times.”
“No.” I stood up from the couch and glared down at him. “If that’s what you’re after, you can fucking leave, got it? I have a boyfriend, and I’m not gonna let you fuck that up for me, like you’ve fucked-up everything else in my life.”
Devon stared at me a moment before focusing on the coffee table—specifically, to the Vodka sitting on top of it.
“Do you love him?” he asked as his fingers twitched.
“Yes, I do,” I answered, taking the bottle from the table and holding it out of his reach. “And for some goddammed reason, he loves me, too.”
“There was a time when you loved me, too.”
“It wasn’t love,” I responded, not as harsh as before. “I just thought it was.”
His icy blue eyes flashed to mine. “What makes you so sure this time is real?”
