Page 30 of Kane's Awakening
Joey came to our table again, but after giving us one wide-eyed look, he quickly walked away.
“Why?” Ryker asked.
“Because.”
“That’s not an answer.”
I shrugged. “It’s the only answer you’re gonna get. Sorry.” There was no way in hell I was telling him about Devon and the fucked-up things that dude put me through. “I told you when I messaged you that one night that I can’t be what you want, but I can give you one hell of a good time until you find someone who will. I thought it was clear.”
He tapped his fingers on the table, showing his frustration. I didn’t blame him. I’d be frustrated at me, too, if I were him.
“So, I guess we’re at an impasse,” he said before exhaling and scratching at something on his cheek, which drew my attention to the damn beauty mark beneath his eye again. “Neither of us is willing to budge from our stances. I want something more and you couldn’t care less.”
“Hey.” I focused on him. “I never said I didn’t care. I just… I don’tdomore. Once feelings are brought into it, I’m out.” Realizing I still hadn’t taken a drink of my tea yet, I grabbed it and took a large gulp as I thought over what to say next. I sat it down a little too hard and caused some of it to spill on the table. “Is this like an ultimatum? ‘Date me or we can’t do this again’ type of thing?”
“No,” Ryker denied. “I can see myself getting attached to you, so I want to know if there’s the possibility for it to ever go further. Not today, but someday. That it’s even an option. I’m not saying you have to be my boyfriend right now or something crazy like that. We barely know each other. I just don’t want to get hurt by getting too close to someone who’s not emotionally available.”
“Well, I’m not,” I snapped. Yeah, I was being harsh, but I couldn’t stop myself. I also couldn’t stop myself from reaching into my wallet, pulling out a few dollars, and tossing them on the table before standing. “When you wanna fuck again, give me a call. But I don’t do this.” I motioned to the restaurant and the whole romantic atmosphere around us. “Not now. Not ever. Have a good night, Ryker.”
Not wanting to hear his response, I left as fast as I could. I almost looked back once I reached the door, but I fought the urge. If I saw him sitting there looking just as shocked and sad as I imagined, I probably would’ve marched right back over to him.
When I got home, I plopped on my bed and shut out the rest of the world, trying not to think of Ryker and how I’d probably just crushed him.
