Page 67 of Kane's Awakening
Maybe the alcohol was still clouding my mind, but I didn’t care. I would’ve flirted sober, too. He stood by the bed, and I wanted to pull him down with me. To taste his lips—to push inside of him and feel that connection that I only felt with him. Only him.
“I didn’t know what you wanted,” he said, glancing away. “I wasn’t exactly nice to you when you called me. And I came over here uninvited.” His gaze found mine and a spark of anger flashed in his blue eyes. “Which thank god I did, otherwise you would’ve fucking died. Seriously, Kane, why would you do that?”
“It wasn’t on purpose,” I responded defensively, not sure if it was a lie. “I was just too drunk.”
“Well, I’m going through your house and throwing away all of the booze,” Ryker snapped. “No more.”
“Okay, Dad.” I rolled my eyes, instantly regretting it. That headache needed to go back to hell where it belonged and leave me the fuck alone. I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Can we stop talking now? I think I’m dying.”
He didn’t answer me, which I took as his compliance, but I hoped he didn’t take that as me wanting him to leave. My eyes shut, and I knew there was no opening them again until I got at least five more hours of sleep. I’d thought he left the room, but the bed dipped as he crawled beside me and pulled me against his chest.
He smelled incredible, and I nuzzled into him.
What would happen between us in the morning, I had no idea, but for the rest of the night, I was going to take advantage of him being with me—the security he gave me from my own mind. If he left me when we woke up—or if my stupid ass said something mean and pushed him away—at least I would’ve enjoyed the time I had with him while it lasted.
His heart beat beneath my ear and I focused on the soft thumping, letting it lull me back to sleep.
***
Luckily, when I opened my eyes hours later and took in the faint light streaming through the blinds from the window, my head didn’t hurt, apart from a dull throbbing. That had been the best night’s sleep I’d had in a while. I was so damn comfortable and didn’t want to move.
Ryker played ahugerole in that.
One of his arms was under my head and the other was draped across my midsection, hugging me to his chest. He was a little smaller than me, but I didn’t give a fuck. Being in his arms feltrightand all those bullshit masculinity rules that said a big guy like me couldn’t like being in a more submissive role sometimes was just that—bullshit.
Facing him, I breathed him in, not ready for the moment to end. I placed a kiss to his jaw before trailing more kisses to his chin and then to his lips.
He stirred before his gorgeous baby blues fluttered open.
“How are you feeling?” he asked in a croaky voice. It was damn adorable. “Please don’t tell me you have to puke right now. Not sure I can move in time.”
“I’m not gonna puke.” I chuckled and nuzzled into his neck, running my nose up the side of his throat. His stubble tickled my cheek. “Thank you for still being here. And for… you know. Saving me and everything.”
His arm tightened around my waist, and before I could take my next breath he was kissing me. Not a heated, take off your clothes and start fucking kiss… but a soft, tender one that probably affected me more than any kiss ever had.
I moaned into his mouth, swirling my tongue against his.
He didn’t seem to mind that my breath was probably rancid from me not having brushed my teeth yet—morning breath was a bitch. His quiet moans with each movement of our tongues, plus the way his hand gripped my nape and held me closer wasdefinitelya sign he didn’t mind.
I deepened the kiss and melted into him, not caring that it was way more intimate than I preferred. Ryker was the exception to my rules.
I’d built a wall around my heart and locked it inside an impenetrable barrier, but he seemed to have the damn key.
Three times I had pushed him away, but the last time had nearly pushed him away for good. Having faced that reality—one where I thought he’d moved on—was worse than any fear of having my heart broken later. He was worth a possible future heartache because being without him was the worst pain of all.
“You have no idea how afraid I was,” he admitted in a hoarse tone, breaking from our kiss and resting his forehead on mine. “I feared I was going to barge into that bathroom and see you with a bullet in your skull or with your wrists slashed. Christ. As I was trying to break through the door, so much went through my head… regret that I should’ve tried harder to keep you and not allowed you to drive a wedge between us.”
I peered up at him, hating that I’d caused that pain in his eyes.
“Pretty sure you already know this, but I have issues, Ryker. Ones that go back for years.” I focused on my breathing, feeling my heart start to race and my throat tighten. “I stay away from relationships—from letting myself get attached to anyone—because I…”
Shit. I wasn’t sure I was ready to re-openthatwound. The stuff with Devon wasn’t so much traumatic as it was just difficult talking about: feeling worthless, being used for sex—an act that should be fucking awesome and not some tool to control people—and having my view of love shattered. My sense of trust had been broken, too. Never had I felt so low than I did senior year in high school.
Devon had ruined me for anyone else. But… maybe Ryker could put me back together.
“Kane?” Ryker took my face in his hands and stroked my cheek with his left thumb. “If you aren’t ready to talk about it… don’t. It’s okay.”
“That shit I said to you was a lie,” I told him. “About me only sending you that rose because I wanted to get laid and all that. I sent it because I knew how much it would mean to you. Pushing men away when I start feeling more for them is a defense mechanism. I never meant to hurt you, and I’m sorry I did.” Shaking my head, I looked down. “I pushed you away and right into another guy’s arms.”
