Page 77 of Kane's Awakening
“I’m more than that and you know it,” I had answered, talking back to him for the first time. Tears had fallen down my cheeks. “Admit it, Devon! Please.”
I had needed him to tell me he wanted me like I wanted him. The one-sided relationship had reached its breaking point.
“You know what you are?” Devon asked, leaning forward until our noses touched. “Nothing. And this sensitivity you have is a major turnoff. Want to know a valuable lesson? Never let people see your weakness, Kane, because they’ll exploit it. Emotions are power, and by showing yours, you’re giving that power away.”
I knew I hadn’t actually loved Devon, but at the time, I’d confused infatuation and lust with love. My whole concept of love had been destroyed. Following that conversation, we’d had a massive fight and had ended things for good. Devon, one of my only friends—and someone I’d believed to be more than that—had left me. And then I’d had no one.
His advice had been the best thing to come out of it, though, and something I’d then built my life around because of him. I’d transformed my body into a damn machine and I’d altered my mind, too, blocking my heart off from the world.
No one would hurt me again because I wouldn’t give them the power to.
“Kane?”
I blinked and turned to look at Ryker—the man who’d become the exception to my rule. “Sorry, I was zoning. What did you say?”
“Never mind,” he answered, staring at me with worry etched on his face. “It was just small talk.”
I felt bad for having been lost in my head and missed what he’d said, but those damn memories of Devon arose at the worst times; times where I let my guard down and briefly forgot about my reservations, when I thought I could be happy with someone. It happened a lot around Ryker, especially recently.
The closer I became to him, the more the memories resurfaced.
“I hope you’re hungry,” I said as we pulled into the restaurant. “It’s all-you-can-eat buffet.”
He shook his head. “Are you trying to fatten me up? My metabolism isn’t as great as yours anymore.”
I was about to crack a joke about us finding ways to work off the calories later in bed, but I stopped myself. I’d told him no sex, and I’d stick to that. Even if it killed me. I’d fight through the blue balls and everything for him.
“There’s no harm in splurging every now and then.” We got out of the truck and advanced toward the entrance. “Plus, I can think of a way to burn it off.” When he shot me a somewhat annoyed glance, I explained, “Going on a run tonight around my block.”
Ryker chuckled and opened the door for me. “Maybe. But if my old man knees give out, you’ll have to carry me back home.”
I rolled my eyes before scanning the room once inside. It was habit to locate the exits and fire alarm, plus get a mental picture of the layout just in case of an emergency.
Unlike some restaurants, we had to pay for the meal before being seated, so I approached the lady behind the register and told her there’d be two adult buffets and paid. She handed us a tray with a stack of plates, silverware, and two empty cups, and told us to pick anywhere to sit.
“Do you want a table or a booth?” I asked Ryker.
“Table by the window?”
I followed him to the one he wanted and set the tray down before handing him a plate and taking one for myself. With the place being a self-serve type of restaurant, I got some sweet tea off the drink station before getting my food.
There were five different food stations, and Ryker went for the salad bar, but I veered right to get to the meat. I piled my plate with fried chicken, creamy mashed potatoes, fried shrimp, catfish, green beans cooked with bacon, and macaroni and cheese. Then I added two buttery rolls to the pile before going back to the table.
The look on Ryker’s face when he saw my plate made me laugh.
“What?” I asked, bemused. “It’s a buffet.”
“That’s a lot of fried food, Kane.”
“Don’t be such a dad,” I teased, sitting down in front of him at the table. “And we’re in the south for fuck’s sake. Everything is fried, even the pickles.”
“I hate pickles,” he said, crinkling his nose. “But I like cucumbers. Isn’t that weird?”
“Not really,” I answered before shoving some chicken into my mouth. I washed it down with some tea before adding, “I love ketchup but hate tomatoes.”
We ate for a few minutes in silence, but then we started talking. Bringing up foods we didn’t like had sparked more conversation, and we asked each other question after question, getting to know the other on a new level. It began simple and fun, a lot ofwould you rather this or thatquestions, but it turned into more.
What are your pet peeves? Dreams? Fears?
